How to end a brief Bumble relationship...

[Tuilpmouse]

I'm looking for what i hope will be validation, but as I've not done this for 20 years, I'm open to being persuaded... (I ended a marriage over that time, but this obviously isn't the same thing!)

Ok, I've been seeing a guy I met through Bumble since early February. We get on very well, but we're just not clicking sexually, and after last night I've decided I don't feel I can continue things.

In terms of our relationship, if you can call it that given we've only been dating six weeks or so, we live about an hour away and have met up once or twice a week since then and communicate frequently in between via WhatsApp, but don't call.

I'm thinking it's ok to end things by WhatsApp, our usual means of communication, rather than by phone (which we never do)... but part of me is wondering whether i'm being both a cow and a coward doing that, and whether I should call.

Of course, I could take the really mean and cowardly way out, and ghost and block, but I'd never do that!

He's done nothing wrong, and sense he'll be more disappointed than me at things ending.

I think after 6 weeks a message is fine.
Not feeling it, not working for me, that kind of shit

Yeah, it's fine, just message him and say something to the tune of you're not feeling it, but lovely to meet him and all the best.

Have you talked to him about the sex?

Agreed

Message is absolutely fine OP with some kind words. If it’s not working sexually there is no point continuing.

Yes, up to the point at which I found comfortable, but if there's insufficient chemistry isn't there, there's little point. It's mainly down to my interest. He's more than interested enough...

Part of the problem may be I'm out of practice, or it may be that it's too soon after the end of my marriage (August). I didn't get that electricity in that first kiss that I remember (I was overwhelmed by his super-charged tongue that was thrust in my mouth right from the off 😯) but wasn't sure if that was just age and hormones being more subdued 20 years later.

Although there was some arousal, and it's been pleasant to be with someone sexually, I've felt underwhelmed and disappointed. I've persisted hoping things would improve as I got more used to it, but I don't feel I can keep doing that, especially as last night felt flat albeit that we had some decent foreplay.

Seems like my instincts were right about messaging...

I'm sad though as he's a nice guy, and it's nothing he's done. It's very much a "I'm sorry, it's me not you" thing. I think he's picked up the vibe though, so I don't think it will be a complete shock to him.

All done... He replied that he felt things weren't working physically too. Feel a bit sad, but also relieved, so confident I did the right thing.

Well done 😊

Next!