Is this mansplaining?

[VirginMediaAreUseless]

Before I talk to DH about this, I want it correct in my mind that what he’s doing is mansplaining and probably sexist.

For example - we were chatting this morning with a friend who is a used car sales / mechanic about me wanting to get a smaller car and how much I liked the mini I’d test driven. I said I’d thought about going to a hybrid car but only really liked the Peugeot. Friend said if you like Peugeot, go for that the mini engine is Peugeot collab build anyway. I was surprised, but then said I wasn’t surprised as one of my dad’s early cars was a Porsche engine! DH said it wasn’t, I’d got it wrong and corrected me with lots of reasons why. I felt like an idiot, but was sure I hadn’t remembered it incorrectly. I googled it on the way home and I wasn’t wrong.

Last weekend we were out for dinner with friends and they were talking about the autistic spectrum and where we’d all be on it. I said that wasn’t possible, you can’t be a little bit autistic. You’re either autistic or you’re not, but DH told me I was wrong and again, lengthy explanation of why and I was left feeling like a fool.

There’s loads of other examples of exactly this type of scenario, but that would make a very long post!

Is he mansplaining or am I over sensitive?

You are incorrect

No, while it's true that individuals with autism can be affected with different degrees of severity, that doesn't make it the case that everyone is on the autism spectrum.

Don't see it as mansplaining. But if he's disagreeing with you on a way that it's not respectful then he's being a dick. The idea of a spectrum for autism that many people are on isn't a new concept. The engine thing he was juts wrong, but you're not a mechanic and he was explaining cars to you. Mansplaining is more when you have an area of knowledge that a man doesn't, who then explains your role/ experiences to you, without having them because as a man they know better

Wait til the next time he does this in public and then start taking the piss out of him. “Oh here you go again with your great big mansplaining wife correcting ways - just like when you spent half an hour in from of everyone telling me that my Dad’s car didn’t have a Porsche engine - when guess what? it did! Sit down Mate!” See how he likes the taste of that medicine.

The fact that mansplaining is a thing doesn't mean that men are not allowed to disagree with, contradict, or know more about something than a woman

To me it doesn’t matter what label you assign to it, partly because he’s likely to argue about whether it’s mansplaining or not!

There’s a way of saying it: when you do that it makes me feel like this, I would prefer it to stop as it’s damaging my feelings about the relationship

Talk about the impact from your perspective

But, what will you do if he doesn’t accept that it’s an issue and won’t change his behaviour?

Did he feel he needed to control the conversation for some reason eg because you were talking to other men, or buying a car?

Rather than talk to him at this point. I'd recommend you talk to someone who is a relationship expert, work out a strategy to deal with it, and check there aren't any other red flag behaviours.

Not mansplaining. Common-or-garden twattery.

“I must know more as I am a MAN and therefore must correct everything she says so she knows her place”

Woman, know your limits!

I think I would wait until he ngets to the end of his boring and detailed explanation then say loud and clearly “Well I think that’s utter bollox”.
DH is v knowledgave about a lot of things but does spout forth on occasion with utter bollox. Because he sounds confident and knowledgable people are taken in so I wouldn’t try to politely correct him or point out his error but stating what I said above gets the message across.

This

He's right about autism, it's a spectrum and not black and white.

He's not right. He was arguing that everyone is on the autistic spectrum, which is not correct.

Well it will be interesting if you ever have a conversation where you mention the earth being round....Go on I dare you!"

He’s not mansplaining, just a know it all.
They exist in both male and female format, and are equally annoying

yes - is he like this with anyone else - does he need to be always right?

He is wrong about Autism. Everyone who meets diagnostic criteria for ASD will be somewhere on the spectrum. You cannot be a little bit Autistic, you either meet criteria or you don't. Neurotypical people are not on the Autism spectrum because they don't have Autism.

😂
Look at these harridans, they went to university 😉

Exactly what I was saying, but according to him I was wrong and the spectrum included NT people too.

Damn these educated women!

Thanks everyone for the input.

I did speak to him at the weekend. He couldn’t see what was wrong with what he’d done to begin with. I explained how her belittled me and him doing this is really embarrassing infront of other people.

He has apologised and I’ve told him I’ll pull him up on his twattery if he does it again and I won’t be as subtle next time.