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Relationships
'The Script' - my take, anything I've missed?
JFDIYOLO · 18/03/2023 09:27
So many threads by women who have discovered the truth about their cheating partners, and so much resonates with me
I've read a lot about 'The Script' - that repeated cycle of behaviour that so many of them seem to follow.
It's like a programme that triggers to run when she finds out.
Or a three act drama.
Here's my take, in a quick summary:
Act 1 - Nicey Nicey
Tears, apologies, promises, I'll do better, be better, presents, flowers, dinners, trips, romancing, bed, let's have another baby …
Pushing her buttons til the romantic hormone tsunami rekindles the first rush … and she takes him back. And it happens again. And again. Because he's learned it works.
The point is, this isn't real. It's a performance, a mindgame with the sole intention of regaining ownership and control.
Don't believe them when they tell you who they are …
Act 2 - Turning Nasty
Believe them when they show you what they are.
If Act 1 doesn't work though, and she says no, the mask slips - the true face shows.
The DARVO - deny, attack, reversing victim and offender.
The gaslighting - I never said that, you know what you're like, you're crazy.
The threats - I'll hurt myself, take the house, take the money, take the children, hurt the children, hurt you.
Act 3 - Sabotage
The first strategy has failed.
Now it's panic stations, damage limitation, reputation management in play.
Edited versions of your emails and texts shown to family and friends.
Flying monkeys deployed - others wound up and set off to spread stories.
See what I had to put up with?
My crazy ex.
And it's quite possible this programme may be running at the same time as Act 1 and 2, behind your back. Just in case.
What would you add?
SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 18/03/2023 09:32
I would add it is same kind of script when a controlling partner starts losing control and the weaker partner takes back their independence
TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 18/03/2023 16:00
Have a look at ChumpLady if you haven;t already OP - you;re pretty much describing her theory that cheats broadcast on only 3 channels - Charm / Self-pity / Rage.
www.chumplady.com/2017/09/mindfuck-three-channels/
TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 18/03/2023 16:02
WorldCuppa · 18/03/2023 10:21
May be try writing short stories
It's clear you're attempting a put-down, but unclear why, & it's a remarkably poor effort whatever the reason.
What relevance does short story writing have to OP's post?
ilikeeggs · 18/03/2023 20:36
I think I might in act 2 right now with my ex. He left me 3 weeks ago for another woman and is now currently being very nasty and unreasonable. I used to think he was a decent person too but I guess not.
JFDIYOLO · 19/03/2023 11:13
@ilikeeggs nasty and unreasonable is probably driven by a turmoil of guilt, embarrassment, defensiveness, firefighting image damage, and fear (like an animal cornered and lashing out).
As Michelle Obama said - when they go low, we go high.
Staying classy, civilised, factual and evidenced is your best stance.
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