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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband addicted to prescription drugs- I feel numb, what next?

8 replies

LaughterLady · 17/03/2023 09:13

Hi, I'm hoping someone may be able to offer some advice as I'm feeling numb at the moment.

Since our twins were born 12 years ago, my husband had increasingly become more distant to the point that in the last 7 years he has moved into the spare bedroom. There has been no physical intimacy for at least 5 years and nothing emotional between us for years before this. He makes family outings etc awkward as he clearly doesn't want to be there.

I know life gets in the way, we both work full time, my husband works shifts, but I have in the past raised by concerns about our relationship and the lack of connection. In addition to this, my husbands mood swings have become unbearable and its really affected one child.

Things came to a head earlier this year when he became aggressive, not physical, but verbally and he was threatening. Things have been very tense since and I have told him I want a divorce as I cant out up with this any longer and its not fair on the children.

He has now told me that he has been addicted to prescription drugs for 10-12 years. He has had 3 major surgeries so the drugs have been prescribed since then. If I'm honest, I'm not convinced this is the truth as I've heard so much over the years. Despite me wanting to talk about or relationship issues, he has never mentioned this in the past which for me makes things worse as I've explained how exhausted I am and need more help with the kids. So despite knowing how I felt, he's continued for years allowing me to struggle and become ill. At one point, I was told to stop going on about it.

I just need to get out and find a home that is a home where me and the kids can feel comfortable, be ourselves and enjoy life.

Any thoughts and advice will be much appreciated.

OP posts:
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 17/03/2023 09:16

My thoughts are: regardless of what's true or not he has been an absent father, uninterested, bad husband.

Divorce divorce divorce

TheProvincialLady · 17/03/2023 09:22

I just need to get out and find a home that is a home where me and the kids can feel comfortable, be ourselves and enjoy life

Yes you already know what to do. Do that. It no longer matters what ‘reasons’ there might have been. Get out and make yourself and your children much happier.

jemimapuddlepluck · 17/03/2023 09:33

OP, get out. Look at the shit you have dealt with over the years, you are still standing! Use that strength. You and your children will thrive 😊

MyriadOfTravels · 17/03/2023 09:48

Your issue isn’t the prescription drugs. If he was addicted to them - which he might be - this would not explain the way he is behaving towards you.

He is treating you very poorly. That’s enough to want to move on.

I have to say I find it interesting he never mentioned it until you said you want to divorce AND that you never noticed him taking some medication in the 12+ years you’ve been living together, no GP appointment etc….

LaughterLady · 17/03/2023 22:25

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. You’ve all confirmed what I already knew and it’s reassuring.

OP posts:
NicholJO · 17/03/2023 22:50

I'm a mental health nurse op I get what the other mn uses are saying I couldn't say any different but if he is addicted to pm then he needs help I see alot of this my only advice is if he's not willing to help himself get out of your relationship for your own mh

BritInAus · 17/03/2023 23:18

RUN. FAST. DON'T LOOK BACK.

Yellowdays · 17/03/2023 23:56

He can only help himself. Run, OP.

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