A seemingly decent man when you're used to other

[thefire]

I seem to have met a decent man on line.
Respectful, interested , makes an effort .
I used to sexually
Coercive abusers and narcissistic behaviours.
I saw these behaviour early on but chose to ignore them.
Im cynical . Untrusting .
How do I get past this ?
My boundaries are tight .
But yet I am
Untrusting .

You've never met him so you don't know if he's decent or not. He can pretend to be anything

Ok

There are some good men out there! Unfortunately the idiots ruin it for the rest of us.

Choose not to ignore them from now on. You can't 'know' that someone won't be abusive/unpleasant to you. But you can know that you will walk away if they are. You don't have to know any secret tricks. If something feels off, to you, then it is off for you, and you walk away. That's it. That's boundaries. If you don't feel completely safe (emotionally or physically), you leave. It is no more complicated than that.

Until you meet him in person it means nothing I’m afraid
but if he’s nice meet him no ?

and don’t tell him about you past
go with an open mind
it’s a coffee !