Post break up sex

[Matchateatime]

I separated from my partner of 12 years shortly before Christmas. We have three children together. We hadn't had a relationship for around 2 years before he left and we were residing as housemates.

I've felt pretty depressed since he left, have gained weight but suddenly feel ready to ignite my social life. I am also looking forward to having sex again! I am going to the gym regularly and I'm calorie counting to lose the excess weight I've gained. I have around 4 stone to lose in total- all gained over the course of our relationship and around a stone since he left.

I am chatting to someone online and I can see that we have a lot in common. We have been chatting for around 4 weeks. I have told him that I do not want a relationship but I'm happy to date (and although I haven't specifically said so) have sex.

I have spotted a couple of red flags that wouldn't make him relationship material for me personally. I'm doing a lot of inner work and therapy and know the sort of attributes I would need in my next long term relationship. However, would it be ok to begin a sexual relationship upon dating even with those red flags? I'm talking just personal preferences over worrying behaviour.

Also, will a man really want to have sex with me with all my stretch marks and saggy tum? My boobs are large but very saggy. My nipples literally touch my stomach! I can't imagine another man ever wanting to touch my body when it's not his children that I've carried to create these marks and and loose skin.

Should I wait until I've lost some weight before risking the humiliation of sex?

I'm a size 18.

I think you're worrying too much. Plenty of people of all shapes and sizes have sex and enjoy it. An encounter with this man could go one of two ways. Either you both enjoy it and you get to restore some self-confidence. Or one of you doesn't enjoy it and you find out you're not sexually compatible. If it turns out he's not into you, then you'll know and can move on and hopefully find someone who is. Don't take it personally - know that there are others out there who will find you sexually attractive, plus confidence and personality is equally a big sexual attractor as pert boobs and a tight stomach.

Sorry to be blunt but virtually most men on the apps are after sex, they're not too bothered who with... getting (free) sex is very hard to come by for most men so when offered, it's unlikely they'll turn it down. Not sure if that's helpful or not but it's the reality of OLD.

Fuck it op and go for it ☺️

However, would it be ok to begin a sexual relationship upon dating even with those red flags

What does 'red flag' mean to you, and who decides what's ok for you to do?

will the red flags make you feel worse about yourself?
I think its great that you are investing in you, getting out there and in the process of all that malarkey you will start liking who you are post breakup.

My opinion is that if you feel a little vulnerable then men who are dicks will pick up on that and it might not feel so nice being with someone just after sex. Date, go out there and just enjoy yourself, if sex is on the table, and you feel up to it, then just go for it, just remember to love you first 😊put yourself first.