Queen Bee Issues

[Alexandra888]

I have recently joined a coffee group of women that I like. Some of them I have known for years. I work and have always worked mostly they dont.
I have recently started to feel very uncomfortable and nervous which is not like me I am generally v confident
It is really upsetting me.
Yesterday I realised that one of the women the queen bee type nearly always interupts me /starts another conversation or talks over me therebye blocking me from speaking. Yesterday she was bad mouthing me and I heard her
I dont know how to handle this. Any ideas? I dont want to leave the group because of her I feel like directly confronting her in the group but that may not be the right thing to do people dont like conflict

The next time she cuts you off -put your hand up and say "Excuse me, I was talking" You can't really confront her about the bad mouthing because really, you should have called her out at the time - she will only deny it if you do.

Do not give people like this an inch ! Bullies thrive off the gentle folk - show her you are not weak and can give her a run for her Money!

As above. I'd also add 'and by the way, next time you feel like badmouthing someone in public, do try to have the sense to check that person isn't in earshot. There's a dear'.

Don't take any shit.

Following, as I would also like to know the answer.

My DH used to talk over me, which drove me mad, then I read that if someone does this, look straight at the gobshite and carry on with what you were saying.
It only took a couple of times doing this and then DH got the message!

Stand up to her as soon as you can. Don't worry about other people not liking conflict. Obviously most people don't like conflict but that's no reason to put up with being bullied by this saddo.
What did she say to badmouth you? Confront her with it. Ask her why she said it.

next time she does it, and she will, lean in a little, look her in the eye and ask if she is ok when she bad mouths you, or when you are speaking you carry on talking and completely ignore her when she starts woffling, do this every time, claim your space. The reason she is doing this is her issue, and nothing to do with you, at all. Her issue alone and it says a heck of a lot more about someone jumping in bad mouthing another member of the group and most who listen to it will all think the same, that if she is so comfortable doing this in their audience, then sure as heck she will do it to them to given the chance, and she will. So stand up for you, you got this.

Thanks ladies. I will confront in the meantime I am just not going to go for coffee until got equilibrium back.

Is ok I am ok is what I am trying to tell myself.

Ugh, I feel for you. My sister in law does this, I will talk about something (and no, I am not long-winded) and she will turn to someone else and start talking about a different subject while I am mid-sentence.

It is very dismissive and humiliating but, as you’ve mentioned, direct confrontation with someone like this usually does not go well. So I’ve basically turned the tables and do the same to her now. I know it is immature and I am being equally rude, but it makes me feel better and as she does it, she can’t very well call me out for it. So that is something you could try.

I had this at my book group. I posted on here a few times. I confronted her - "When you said X about me, can you explain what you meant?" She just smiled sweetly but she did stop. I realised it wasn't just me she was putting down - there was someone else she was being nasty about. Actually what made her stop was when someone in the group who she respected and who liked both me and her had a word with her. She's been decent to me ever since.