Is he interested

[Tibetandoghund]

For the past eighteen months I've seen a guy in passing when we're out walking our dogs. He always beams a smile and keeps prolonged eye contact as we're approaching. We usually stop and chat. Once or twice we walked along together and the dogs have played. Sometimes what I assume is his wife/gf will be with him. He still beams and looks at me but won't then walk along with me. She seems chilled and will also say a few general words about the dog/weather, etc, when we stop.
He's probably about 15 to 20 years older than me.
I got the feeling when I first saw him when he was alone that he was interested in me. After I saw him with her, I'm not so sure what's going on. He always looks pleased to see me whether she's with him or not.

Taking away the possible gf/wife with him I think you're reading too much into it. Some people have a beautiful beaming smile for everyone, they know their smile is gorgeous and charming and boy do they use it! I think it's one sided because he would have made more effort with you if he was interested. It's been 18 months of bumping into each other for crying out loud! He could have made more effort to walk with you and ask you out. I don't think the feelings are reciprocated and he's just being friendly. He's also way too old for you!

If you're not letting this one go, try to refer to her as 'you're partner' and see if either of them correct you. You could say something like 'oh Ddog really likes your partner!' Check for wedding rings... while absence doesn't mean definitely single but if it's there it's highly likely married. It's an obvious thing to check. You could also see if he's on Facebook or something. But really, I think if he was serious he would have made it known already and he's really too old for you.

If he was interested he would have asked you out by now.

He's just a friendly guy whose probably married.

if a man is interested and available, he'll ask you out. these kinds of guessing games and trying to read into "eye contact" are just teenager stuff.

please leave it, OP

whoops, you just said that, and I fully repeated it right after you :P that's what I get for being too lazy to read every response.

yup, seconded 😅

I best tell my DP (who is really easy to talk to) never to stop and talk with another woman whilst walking our dog incase she gets the wrong idea.
some people are just friendly and kind. If your dogs play together it would be odd if you never spoke.

If a guy is interested in you, he will make it very clear and make an attempt to get to know you more, ie asking you out for a coffee/ drink/meal. Chatting and smiling is just that.
He’s got a wife or gf, yet here you are, still wondering if he’s interested . What am I missing. Why are YOU interested. Have a word with yourself

@Mspiaget Of course that's the main issue but the age gap is disgusting.

My husband is 16 years older than me. Can you please explain exactly what is 'gross' about our 20 year relationship?

He has walked with the same woman a few times and he hasn't made sure to clarify who she is by way of introducing her (this is my sis, my sis is down from x or this is my friend .... he could have dropped it) which tells me he is either uninterested or taken. Every guy that's been interested either doesn't talk about the wife or avoids mentioning her if he's flirting/looking for an affair or if he's single and interested makes it known he's tired of being single, how he is single, how he is looking.

He had ample opportunity to ask you out in a year and a half if he was interested. Some men and women enjoy flirty moments and like the attention, find it flattering but they never quite cross that line because they don't have any real intention of breaking up and pursuing you or have an affair, they are happy to stay in the ego boosting but not quite blowing up your life yellow zone. They can be such a mindfuck because you wonder if what you're seeing did happen, if the chemistry is mutual, you wonder and wonder...so posters telling you to move on are right because either way it's not happening with him.

If he's gorgeous, yes. If he's butters he's safe from that assumption. Friendly and hot is a deadly combo!!

I think you’re barking up the wrong tree OP. He sounds like a friendly pleasant chap which will explain his smile and greeting each time. When he’s with his partner (or whoever she is) he’s prioritising her because she’s his walking companion that day, which reinforces that he’s well mannered.

This seems quite mad to me. Man is friendly on dog walk. Talk flows. You assume this necessarily involves sexual attraction, indicates he’s interested in you and is the start of a potential relationship, and are then surprised when he appears to be in a relationship?

Don’t you have any male friends, where you meet them, like them, talk flows, and you become friends, regardless of their relationship status? This is pretty much how I met a good male friend of mine, but it was on the school run rather than dog walking.

Why? Lots of couples have age gaps like this. It's fine if you think it's disgusting, that's up to you. But you can't claim that it is, objectively, disgusting. Too many people disagree with you.

I think your jumping to conclusions here op. He's just a nice guy probably. If he was interested in you he would make it clear that he single and give his lady friend a title that wasn't wife/gf. Just because he's friendly doesn't mean anything 🤦🏻‍♀️

A 20 year old and a 40 year old is gross though.
40 and 60 different life stages.
60 and 80, you'll be his carer.
And yes yes comments will roll now on how wonderful and long lasting your age gap relationships are and how the older one is the healthier one etc etc but objectively, it is gross if they're old enough to be your parent. I don't think that's a minority view.

I thought of a new reason for his smiles, op.

Perhaps you remind him of his daughter 😉

You are his little bit of flattery during a dog walk - reminds him he still has "it" 🙄

@Whatalovelypair

'Lots of comments will roll in, but they're wrong and I'm right'

Ok.

Yes I'm afraid most think it's disgusting whether you like it or not. Thankfully I don't know anyone personally who has done this.

It's usually older men younger women which isn't right.
I'm saying this as a woman in my 30s, I HATE older men looking at me like that and it happens constantly, alot of the time with their wives. It's seedy. I think of older men in fatherly terms and want them to think like that too. Older women feel motherly and caring towards younger men.
How shit is it that a man can get to 40/50, aging, his female peers aging alongside him, all gaining life experience and becoming wiser, maybe rearing kids together, and he will try and get with a woman 20 years younger, born 20 years after him and reverse the clock.
If he was single, women his own age will be dog walking and looking at him as someone they could potentially share a life with, date.. which is how it should be. All the while he has eyes on people young enough to be his daughter. GROSS!
I love it when I bump into older couples or older men and I get no vibes like that at all. They are true men in my eyes.

Could just be a friendly, smiley guy who is interesting to talk to. Could look to you for a bit of flattery. Sounds quite married/ partnered. If he was interested he would probably have asked you out or at least indicated he was. He doesn't sound shy. Are you looking to meet someone? I'd try other avenues rather than wondering about this chap. You'll get carried away.