I met my partner 8 years ago - the first year was great, the second ok (unplanned baby, house move, no money, lots of stress) and the last 6 years have been pretty rubbish - verbal slanging matches constantly, screaming ' i wish you would F**k off & die' arguments on a weekly basis, violence, etc etc....i spent years hoping for someone to come and save me from it all before eventually deciding - for various reasons - i had to get on and finish it myself. i have no feelings left for him, i cant even be bothered to hate him any more.
so i told him it was over just after xmas.
i thought - foolishly - he would move out. he hasnt, and says he wont. he refuses to leave our child under any circumstances and says i am not fit to look after children (pot and kettle to be honest) to try and show what a nice guy he is - 7 years too late - he has cut the arguing completely - i have tried to provoke him but he hasnt bitten - and wont even raise his voice at me now. however he still swings between being reasonable and completely bloody minded.
when hes being reasonable he says he doesnt want to be without me not just our child, he wont leave or move out and he cant bear the thought of life without me.
i have told him i consider myself to be single and wish to make a life for myself with the children and move on. this tends to cause him to become less reasonable and say that in that case he will sell the house, split the money half each (despite the fact i paid the entire deposit and have earned/contributed more during our relationship) and take our son with him.
i feel such an idiot for thinking that when i actually told him how i feel he would accept it, and move out. it is clear he has no intention of going and if he does it will only be if the house is sold.
i dont want to be unfair and i certainly dont want to stop him seeing our son, but i cant see how we can go on living under the same roof indefinitely.
i should also add that the house we live in cant be sold anyway as it has been subject to major renovation and still requires further works before it can be signed off by the council...although we could sell now i dont think you could get a mortgage on it easily (which as it is worth about £400K when finished would put off most buyers!)
without wishing to appear completely clueless, what do i do to sort this out? any wise words gratefully appreciated!