No communication in relationship

[Lost0013]

Hi all,
Just wondering if anyone else is in a relationship which you find you can't communicate in? OH and I have been together 13years and have a LO. He's never been good at communicating but before LO didn't seem to affect us too much. Since LO arrived (2.5) relationship has been very tough.
He ignores me most of the time, even simple questions. Does nothing proactive with LO so I have to ask. Then he interprets this as whingeing. He seems to think everything i say to him is whingeing or that's his excuse for ignoring me.
I've started having dreams this week about meeting someone who takes an interest in me and treats me well so I think it's certainly affecting me.
Everything has to be on his terms, I like to plan ahead especially now we have LO but he has to leave everything till last min.
Even getting out the house with LO he has to get ready right at the last min (I think to wind me up) which then means I have to get LO ready myself etc.

I honestly just wondered if anyone else was in a relationship like this and what you did to make it better? It's so hard to put everything down in words but I feel I want to emotionally check out now so I stop getting hurt.

Thanks for reading if you got this far ❤

Honestly my relationship is like that a bit. It's very difficult! Don't have any advice really, just solidarity!

There’s nothing you can do to improve it because you’re not the problem

There is nothing you can do to make this better particularly if you try to do so on your own. As a general point too, abuse is not about communication or a perceived lack of; its about power and control. This man is exerting his power and control over you.

What do you want to teach your child about relationships, is this really the role model you want to be showing them?. Start planning your exit from this with due care and attention.

@Newuser82 so sorry your relationship is like this too, it really is awful x

@Shoxfordian thanks for your reply I guess you're right.

@AttilaTheMeerkat I wish I'd realised this before LO. Feel trapped now but I understand exactly what you are saying thanks.

You’re not trapped now, it’s just going to be a little bit harder for you now but not impossible. Certainly don’t have more children with him and hopefully you’re working so not financially dependent

This exactly.

You might find some insight by reading Patricia Evans 'The Verbally Abusive Relationship' or Lundy Bancroft's 'Why Does He Do That?' Sounds like the Water Torturer type. Or Watch these videos:

I'm sorry you are going through this. It can be so confusing when you are in it. You certainly deserve much better.

@Londontoderby thank you for taking the time to reply.

@3487642I thank you very much for the recommendations I appreciate it.