I am reconciled.
But right now I wouldn’t even be considering if this can work.
Dday or discovery day of an affair is emotionally charged and will send you into a tailspin. You’ve been sent on a rollercoaster you should never have been pushed off on. You’ll be in shock, he will be minimising, blame shifting, lying (still) and playing damage control.
Right now you need to put your relationship aside and focus on you. Eating, drinking water, taking exercise and getting std checks. I would also be seeking legal advice.
I found reading around affairs really helpful at this time. Sounds counter intuitive (when your hoping for different) but leave a cheater gain a life was my bible as it really helped me process how little my husbands affair was to do with me OR our marriage.
I also read a lot on surviving infidelity website for both sides of stay/go AND watched affair recovery videos.
Staying has to be happen with a truly remorseful cheat who makes your safety and security their priority as you heal and then sticks to it. Tbh in my experience cheats are never remorseful at first and never a good prospect for reconciliation in the immediate aftermath, only time heals and tells you if it’s worth trying again or not.
You don’t have to make any decision yet, you don’t know yourself if what he’s done could be a deal breaker for you. You need time to process and heal. And watch his behaviour and reaction to this, while this is new he will not be a safe partner for you you can not depend on his behaviours or reactions, he’s a different beast to the husband you know and love.
Always self care first. 💐