Mother

[Literallyhay2022]

So cut long story short, since my dad passed things have been more strained with my mother.
my mom, in short is very difficult person to get on with, she doesn’t have any friends and has fallen with most of the family over the years.
so now my father is not around, she won’t drive, so any time we want see her we have to go and visit which is 45 mins away.

Even though I make the trip once/twice a month in between she never rings/texts and happy to go weeks without contact in fact the last time I saw her was end January, I messaged about going over half term, originally she was like just let me know in case I’m out, then when I didn’t confirm exactly when I was going over and text her to see if she was around, she then made out she was busy for the next two days and since then I’ve not spoken to her.
Im getting to the point where I just can’t be arsed with the whole relationship tbh, she’s not interest, she defends my brother all the time, I’ve not spoken to him for 5 months, he couldn’t even be bothered to wish me a happy 40th and when I mentioned it too my mom apparently he was hung over and that’s a good enough excuse for her..

just sad for my 4 year old who asks about her but my 9 month won’t know any different.

I'm really sorry to read this. It's sad accepting your mother is not making the effort to be in your children's lives. The relationship between her and you sounds very one-sided. I'd suggest some therapy to work through your feelings. I understand you'd like her in your children's lives, but at what cost to your own mental health? Maybe it's time to accept she is unlikely to change at this stage in her life and look at what that means for you going forward.

She’s very difficult

you have very very limited contact with her and she is throughly disinterested in pursuing one with you

I am baffled why you’re bothered. And your 4 year old… I very much doubt asks or thinks about someone he barely sees!