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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do I go where I'm not wanted?

2 replies

SummerNomad · 13/03/2023 19:37

There is this pattern of behaviour I notice in myself that I just can't seem to shake. The pattern is that when I'm talking to someone I like I sense when they start to lose interest in the conversation and pull away (usually over text). But when I feel them start to pull away it only seems to make me more interested and I start to try and prolong the conversation, which often wasn't even that good or interesting to begin with! I can feel I'm coming across as a bit needy or desperate but I can't seem to stop myself, and I often humiliate myself in the process over someone whose only real attraction was not giving me validation. It's like the more they withhold the more I want their attention.

I hate this about myself but I notice myself doing it again and again. Does anyone have insights into this and how I can stop doing it?

OP posts:
Sunnygirl07 · 13/03/2023 19:45
Sunnygirl07 · 13/03/2023 19:51
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