Dating someone Separated

[EllaRay1]

Hi Everybody,

Thank you lovelies for taking the time out of your busy day as to read my post, I am looking for anyone who ever been in similar position or guidance, as I am in two minds.

Been dating someone a few months who is separated with a young child. We met and instantly connected and have been smitten ever since, going strength to strength. The connection and chemistry is something I’ve never experienced with a person, even myself being in long term relationships.
We was talking about a future and making plans. Feelings and future wants have all been equal from both sides.

Recently they have admitted there is still feelings for the ex-partner and the divorce process is yet to be started. But not feelings of wanting to get back together, which I have trusted.
It was an early question I asked, as I would never get involved if they wanted to fight to have their family back.

They have asked for time to able to sort their head, they are struggling to deal with emotions of separation, events that caused the divorce and having feelings for two people.
They have asked that we communicate through this period and that we can work through it.

I know my self worth and value myself, however do I be there for them through this period to support?
I want to be with this person and gut tells me it’s something special, or do I break away and stop all communication.
I have always been in the mind set if someone wants someone, then they’ll do anything in their power to have them. However I understand being in a position of separation and a child can complicate this outlook.

Any advice or past experiences to help would help my thoughts

Thank you

So basically he's still married and has a kid, as everyone else has said with life experience, walk away, the situation he is in will bring nothing but dramas and hassle to your future relationship, you will allways be the other women and second priority and if his ex decides in a couple years time she wants to get back together you will be gone

Walk away. I wouldn't stay with someone separated unless they were emotionally 100% over their ex.

Is this a man or a woman we are talking about here? It's tiresome when people try and hide genders. Are you a man and this is a woman you're talking about?

Wait for some clear separation exists between the two and divorce proceedings have started if you insist on sticking with this guy. Probably much better long term for you to find someone 100 percent committed to you. With this guy there will always be an element of being messed around. Your call.

I think a lot of people use gender neutral pronouns now for unbiased advice because, there has been times that the advice differed depending on if it's a man or woman being talked about (mine wouldn't change regardless of the sexes of the people here) Some people use gender neutral pronouns because that's what the person they're talking about wants to be used or how they identify.

Some people use gender neutral pronouns as a gotcha when everyone's assumed it's a man, like we're all man haters on here, or w very one assumes it's a straight person, which to be fair I've done here myself, I assumed op was a woman speaking about a man, but they could be a woman speaking about a woman or a man speaking about a man.

I guess it doesn't really matter the sex or gender identity of the op or the new lover, it's a run for the hills in all cases.

I think this is a walk away situation. You could let him know that you'd be happy to hear from him if he would like to reach out once he has got his head fully around separation and finalised the divorce. That doesn't require you to "wait" but if you are in a position to date once he's demonstrated having moved on then you'd be open to that.

I left my husband in the October, sold our house (with his consent) in the January, moved into my own place in April (following a short stint lodging with my parents) and was divorced by May. This is with a kid, a financial order and the whole shebang. I pushed the paperwork through, kept on civil terms with my ex and got the whole thing done and dusted in 8 months. I was definitely done with my marriage. If your boyfriend was very keen to be with you he'd be able to push his paperwork through promptly (especially as he wasn't the one to end the marriage). I'd want to see a very good level of commitment to the end of his marriage before I dated him, particularly now he's making wobbly noises about his ex!

Feelings for someone else? admitted?

No no no

Walk away and have no contact.

I met my ex only 9 months after leaving my daughters dad. I thought I was ready for a new relationship and fell into it head first. I allowed myself to be totally love-bombed. We made loads of future plans and moved into together after 6 months. It's only now I look back that I realise it was a mistake. We lasted almost 8 years but I definitely didn't make the best choice of partner and ignored a number of red flags.

It's easy to get carried away when you like someone and especially when you're used to being in a relationship. I've been single almost 3 years this time and know I won't get into a relationship because I'm lonely or just because I want to be with someone.