Time to let go?

[AshRoad]

My relationship with one of my oldest and closest friends has been really difficult for several years now. Our lives have gone in different directions and i don't think our relationship is healthy (for me at least).

My friend has been very focused on alternative therapies and doing work on herself and fixing others. This is not something I am particularly interested in and I don't think I need fixing.

There is a lot of drama in our friendship and I find it difficult to be myself. At various times she has stopped talking to me and if I disagree with her it usually doesn't go well.

Recently she was very unhappy at my behaviour after what (to me) was a relatively small incident. She's now told me she has been reflecting and needs to step back from our friendship.

In the past I would have tried my best to make her feel better and stay friends. This time I don't think I want to. It makes me feel awful going through this cycle of drama over small things.

Before I call time on an old (and historically very important friendship) I'd really like some external unbiased perspectives (my other friends and my partner can't understand why I try and keep this friendship going).

Am I doing the right thing?

Let her step back. See what happens when you don't try and fix things.
Maybe you both need a bit of space from this?

Well yes. You're not telling her never to darken your doors again, you're just not trying to persuade her not to step back. I don't know what's driving her constant cycle of reflection and trying to change but perhaps she will eventually reach some style of resolution and come back. I don't mean to say hold your breath, just that this seems to be an issue very personal to her, not something you can fix so best to let her go.

Well if your friends and your partner - the people closest to you and who know ypu akd the impact this has on you well - suggest this isn't a very healthy friendship with someone you don't really seem to like very much anyway (which is fine), I'm not sure what other viewpoints you expect.

I don't think you need to make a big announcement. She's said she's stepping away from the friendship so let her. If that's not enough drama for her and she gets in touch etc then remind her she was stepping away and leave it.

She seems to like the push and pull she has with you. If you don't, stop it.

Thank you all - that's great advice.

I wasn't planning on doing anything to end the friendship - just stepping back myself. That seems to be the best thing to do.

I don't dislike her at all (it would be easier maybe if I did) but I do find our friendship difficult and I find it hard to respect her beliefs when they come into conflict with my own thoughts and values.