Looking for advice / support on feelings my marriage is lacking intimacy.
DW (26) and I (26) have been together 7 years, married for 2 and have DD 1 (wedding night surprise) who is struggling with attachment at the moment and needs to co sleep.
We work in challenging but rewarding careers - DW a Social Worker and i’m in Travel planning.
Our cash flow is high but savings very low due to buying a house, so we have SIL (20) staying with us as a lodger / Au pair who has some learning / behavioural needs.
I have Dysprxia and ASD, DW has medicated anxiety and depression. Most arguments are due to an intersection of these difficulties when handling challenges. Both think each other is domineering and both prone to explosive outbursts / disassociating. In public we are happy as anything because we both ‘mask’ a lot and do it incredibly well. We even parent DD well most the time and both show her a lot of affection.
DW and I seem to be chalk and cheese at the moment with no intimate relationship. We haven’t had sex in other two months and rarely if ever have mutual affection. Both different love languages - I’m about physical touch, DW wants empathy - due to our issues we both find these difficult to display.
In our friendship group (mostly unmarried and no kids) it’s quite clear at times that we are better suited to other friends than each other, although neither of us has had a physical affair, I’d say emotional affair is very likely if we are not careful.
Looking for advice whether people with similar issues have experienced anything like this?
Ive enquired about marriage counselling and waiting for a callback.