The ex wife dynamic

[honeyandspice54]

I am so confused by the norms of dating - or do we simply just have to find what we are comfy with. Chatting to a new match - this man shares a car with his ex wife (for the kids..she has a new partner) and they have same set of friends and an instagram shows them dancing together with the caption. ‘here’s to my ex’.,

He thinks I must have had a harsh divorce - but is the kind of ‘ex’ dynamic I should be expecting these days?

I would say that he has had an usually amicable divorce. I don't think the car sharing thing is that odd and honestly depending on the nature of the break up many divorced men I know are genuinely delighted that their ex is happy and with someone new; it alleviates their guilt if they ended the marriage.

They have not emotionally entangled themselves. Run away OP, you'll always feel and be second.

Have you even met him yet ?

look there’s no right or wrong here

and no ideal ex situation

but if it makes you feel uncomfortable there is no point continuing really

ps I wouldn’t like it either

No - but my gut is saying no. The dancing on instagram is not one of an emotionally disentangled couple. I can’t do it. Thanks for the thoughts everyone. I hate the way they imply you are being unreasonable - nope - just different.

I'm sure there would be many photos of my OH and his ex if I looked hard enough. However they're from an event for thr kids, be it birthday or Christmas or something and we have all tried to make things as amicable as possible for the children. There is no doubt that this has proved hugely beneficial for the children and they are reaching adulthood now without hangups, insecurities or any trauma following the break up. I've also been extremely happy in my relationship for the last 1 years and the ex is married ( I assume happily) and going about her life.

You can't base a dynamic from a snapshot in time

Hi - I know who this person is as also a year ago matched with him - I told him for me - car sharing simply was not indicative of moving forward, neither is sitting on instagram account photos of him dancing with his much younger ex wife. But everyone to their own. He wasn’t happy with what I said