Bored with life

[Zanatdy]

Hi all

So i’m the wrong side of my 40’s now and have 2 adult children and one 15yr old dc. I had my eldest DC in my teens so been parenting all my adult life and have devoted a lot to the DC’s over the years but always kept my independence through my career and friendships. I have a lot of friends though not all local and I’m known as someone who people come to for sensible advice and to offload as I’m a good listener.

Split with father of DC 2&3 over 10yrs ago but for various reasons (not sexually it’s been over for years) it’s only really recently we are making a clear break from each other and I’ve considered a relationship for myself.

I now have a lot of time on my hands, and I just don’t know what to do. I had a brief relationship (not fully over but pretty much is) last few months which has awakened my sexual desires (the sex was amazing) but it’s complicated for a few reasons and likely going nowhere. I guess I can try online dating, see where that takes me. It’s always something I said I wouldn’t do as I’m not desperate for a man to make me happy, and I’m not but it definitely gave me that giddy happy feeling again and make me realise I have got a lot to give and not a write off yet.

I’m wondering though what else I can do? I’m so bored evenings / weekends and my 1 DC left at home doesn’t need me around much anymore and lives between her dad and I now (recent change before I had them 100%). I’ve even thought of a 2nd job, not ruled that out. I almost feel depressed, had some bad news in my life and the whole thing with the guy I’ve been seeing has upset me, as I think he just took me for a ride and I genuinely believed he was wanting something long term. Anyone else been in the same boat and what did you do to give your life some meaning again beyond just work?

Go to the pub . Or the gym. Take up a sport . See friends .
I used to spend every weekend doing kids stuff but now they don’t need me so had to develop more friendships and hobbies

You have so much living to do !
Would you fancy taking on a course or a new challenge (I don’t know but something like photography or maybe a degree if time and finds allow)

Could you learn a new language or play an instrument? Start a blog?

An evening class could help too. Local colleges normally offer adult education.

It sounds like You need something positive and new to focus on. Maybe start swimming once a week or something else to your routine?

Sounds like a midlife crisis. I sympathise. I’m in my 40s now, and it feels like I’m at the beginning of the end. When you are in your teens and your twenties, you feel you’re building or working towards something, like you are climbing up a hill. Then you hit 40, and you realise you’ve reached the top of that hill and there’s nothing much there. I’m now stumbling down the other side, with nothing at the bottom but a grave. It’s feckin horrible.

Learn something. Have you looked on Tutorful? I started learning to play the piano during lockdown. Mid 40s, single. Really gave me something to focus on. Online lessons, half an hour a week. Still going strong, Grade 3 now, new relationship, moved area, retrained and changed job... piano is a real mainstay for me. Highly recommend taking something on with a long term view to becoming an expert... stops you feeling stuck in the moment because you're always progrssing.

I joined a choir, started dance lessons, took up yoga, went to the gym, joined a few bands...

I now do yoga one night a week, band practice one night a week and go to the pub to catch live music at the weekend when I'm not gigging myself.

I feel so similar op
Just about to hit 40
Divorce finalised last week
Strung along by a couple of head fucking arseholes in the last 6 months
My issue is I really don't find anything of interest . I want to be social and active and I've really tried with meet-up and all that jazz but it's so quiet where I live
Feel like it's all hit me over the last few months and I also feel quite depressed