Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I feel guilty?

6 replies

Kiki29 · 12/03/2023 17:01

Hi my daughter is 9 year old and me and her father is not together. She would usually go to her fathers mothers on a Friday to Sunday were he would go for an hour a day then leave his mum to look after her the rest off the time.

she has her own phone and he would call her but she doesn’t often answer or know where she put the phone as she’s 9 and it’s not her main priority to have one she still likes to go out and play.

he blames me for her not answering and last weekend she could not go to his mums or school as she had tonsillitis but on Friday I texted him to let him know she is well again and should be able to go see them that evening to which he replied ‘ I’ve rang her a couple of times and she didn’t answer, it’s too late as I’ve made plans’ now granted she could of still went and seen her Grandmother but the main reason I send her is to see her dad so i decided to keep her with me this weekend and now I’m apparently getting a solicitors letter from him and his mum for no access.

i just don’t think that a grandparent should be left with the responsibility when the actual parent should be there spending time with her, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Bunnyishotandcross · 12/03/2023 17:04

I can 100 %guarantee no letter is coming op.. But beware handing dc regularly over to his dm is leaving her the opportunity to seek legal advice for her own proper access...
If her df isn't having her she needs to be at home with you. If ex wants his dm to see dd it is in his time. Not dgm's own actual 'slot'..

determinedtomakethiswork · 12/03/2023 17:05

So he cancelled this weekend, but wants you to send your daughter to him for Mother's Day weekend next weekend? He won't get anywhere with that. He could have contacted you instead of your daughter if she wasn't answering.

Bunnyishotandcross · 12/03/2023 17:07

A judge wouldn't expect a 9 yo to manage the contact she has with her df. He is a tosser isn't he? And a stupid one! But I bet you already know that!

Holly60 · 12/03/2023 17:07

I can totally see your point but I can also see that you were punishing him for being shitty. I wouldn't take it out on her grandmother if they have a good relationship. It's not her fault her son is an arse.

Fidgety31 · 12/03/2023 17:08

Does she go every weekend ? I wouldn’t agree to that else where is your time with her ?

Kiki29 · 12/03/2023 17:13

He never calls my phone, if he did then he would get to talk to her. It just makes me sad that his mum has other grandchildren there to look after and she has to look after my daughter while her son shows up an hour a day to say hello then away again. He’s 37 years old and I’d of liked to have thought that because he hadn’t seen her for a week he would of jumped at the chance but instead took the hump because she didn’t answer her phone and made plans

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread