No Communication

[djg19]

I am sure there have been plenty of posts like this previously so i apoligise in advance.

So it would appear the other half seems to have decided pretty much its ok to not speak to me any more married over 7 years with 2 young kids and communication seems to be just grunts if i am even that lucky more interested in playing games on there mobile phone to the extent both children have told me there is more love for the phone than them which really breaks my heart.

Recently a family member from there side of the family had split from there other half & it was decided that it was not my business to know this but when that family member found out 6 weeks after the break up i didn't know they were shocked they assumed as a married couple we would speak about these things. This would not be the 1st time a family matter was decided as not my business.

What seems to be the final straw for me this week as each day has passed the communication has got less & less to the point on Friday when i had planned to meet up with old school friends from 25 years ago all communion ceased would not speak one word to me which totally breaks my heart years of work together as a couple then 1 side decides this is how to treat someone with no care whatsoever.

What makes it worse if i want to speak & have an adult conversation about issues its like talking to a child i cant have an adult discussion if i was to bring this up straight away it would be suggested we just split up which makes it harder to see what the problem is & even if there is a problem.

i almost feel like this is mental bullying & emotional black mail this is not the 1st time the silent treatment has happened & what i would describe as emotional black mail

Im a very soft person & i let people get away with stuff like this which is totally my fault i just want an easy life but i feel like my heart & the kids are being broken

:-(

Sounds horrible. Did you want advice or are you just letting off steam?

My DP can be terrible at communicating. It’s not always him not communicating at all, sometimes it’s a lack of active listening (I’ll say something like ‘the weather is nice’ he’ll reply with ’yeah I want a sandwich too’… not an actual example as I can’t think of one right now, but in essence not replying with anything even slightly appropriate)

So to some extent you’re not alone, and I do think quite a lot of people simply don’t listen/communicate. They seem to be waiting to talk in a conversation rather than been part of the conversations/wanting to understand the other persons view/thoughts then respond.

As the other poster said, I’m not sure if you want advice, a rant, a sense you’re not the only one! But it may help to know you’re not alone and we’ll listen to you!

I think advice is what im after im just at a total loss i don't feel like there is anything I can do I can't speak to them as its impossible but at the same time I cant just sit and be ignored forever

I think you should take him up on his offer/threat to split up. The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse.

This isn't a relationship worth struggling on in, he's opting out and either expects you to continue tolerating this nonsense, or wants to drive you into ending it. Do everybody a favour and break it off.

Well, you feel at a loss and he's offering no way forward within the relationship, so if you stay in the relationship, you are choosing to stay at a loss. It's up to you. It's not his responsibility to do what you want, so if he's not offering what you want, don't stay for more. He's offering to split up; tell him yes.

He’s checked out and split already. You need to call the lawyers.