I am 34 weeks pregnant and in a nutshell stressed with full time teaching, commute of two to two and a half hours a day, lack of sleep and living in a new area with no friends locally. Moved to area so my partner was near his work. He next door to his office and could work from home. He has own business and rents office. Lately, it feels like anger is getting the better of me and in trying to make him understand I need a little more support I am pushing him away.
He goes out twice a week but takes risk drink driving at times and will pick me up after. Claims two/three is ok. This has led to a huge row as repeated often.
I am doing all the cleaning and if I don't nothing gets done. I get upset as I get up at 5am to get bits done before my 6.50am train. He will lie in till last minute.
Weekends have been filled with football and drinks for him and he promised at this stage he would prioritise me more. It came to a head last weekend and I moved out for few days and went to a friend. I came back, we talked etc. This weekend and I did tell him to make plans and be somewhere else if possible. However, we did speak and resolved stuff so I asked him to stay as weekends left are precious but he had made a plan to go put to a football game three hours away and spend night there. I got upset as knew this was yes another day of drinking and asked if he could change the plan. Spend Time with me. I do not want to be controlling and he has been out 3pm to 10pm Thursday on a day drinking session with a mate so I did not feel like he had not had his one night out etc. I accept he needs this once a week and I cannot change him.
Now I am left feeling guilty as I got so upset and very angry. I should be worrying about the baby and not this nonsense. We have talked and I have explained I am struggling now and feeling very tired and work has been too much.
I love him lots and so feel I have maybe had too higher expectations and been difficult at times and am a bit of a perfectionist. I don't want to be unreasonable and for him to feel like I am controlling him but for me the pub is ot of interest. I have gone many times with him over the pregnancy though and in 1st trimester stayed out till 2am even though I wad shattered. I have done little mini pub crawls when we have been away too and drunk pop and played pool and had fun! I enjoy it and not been a problem but hve wanted a bit of compromise and he has come home a few times since we lived together so drunk, he throws up and on a school night too when I am up at 5.30am next day.
I am worried I am losing my mind and when he calls me angry and emotional nd crazy it hurts as I feel like I am.being pushed. I spent four days away and was so relaxed and work felt like a doddle. My friend cooked dinners and I could trust feel rested.
It has upset me that I moved close so.he could be closer to work but when I find out he has been out drinking mid week on a number of occasions and I do.nkt get back until 7 or 8pm if there are parent meetings or an event, and he picks me up after having beers from 4pm , I do feel anger as he denies it or says I am controlling.
We have spoken and I think he will make changes and I know I need to stop working so much, be clamer in how I express things and try to not be quite as hard on him as this was unplanned even though we are happy now about it. I am.dleighted but have felt the arguments are ruining what should be a special time.