Why would my boyfriend be looking at naked women if we have a great sex life? :(

[Foodx123]

Me and my partner have a great sex life and even when we aren't together we are constantly sexting etc.. so naturally I had no concerns he was seeking enjoyment elsewhere.

One Sunday morning I we were making out and the door bell went so I had to go sort that out.. I came back and he was on his laptop doing work so naturally I just got on with some stuff I needed to do. An hour or so later I went back in the room and he opened his internet up and I just happened to look over to see some very very provocative images of naked women on Google images. I asked what it was and he said he was aroused because of us making out so he went on Google. He has loads of pics of me so it really hurt me but what hurt more is that he done that in my presence. He doesn't understand what's wrong with it and did not think there would be an issue. He also said it has nothing to do with his attraction for me. I have adhd so reallt struggle with emotional dysregulation. We forgot about it and the thoughts intermittently come back. He can't explain why he did it and it hurts because if we have sex (we did the night before which he claimed was the best we ever had) so often why would he feel the need to look at someone else like that? Giving those circumstances :( feel like I won't ever forget it and he will do it again. I have spoken to him and says it hurts me and he said he won't do it again but I have previous trauma from the past so I can't just believe someone.

Do you really believe that a man will only look for sexual gratification outside his relationship if he's dissatisfied with his sex life with his primary partner? I don't think that's how it works. I think a couple agrees between them the boundaries around their relationship. Then some people are faithful and some are not. Some will look at porn when they know their partner or spouse considers that to be cheating. Some will have full blown affairs. Look at how many men tell their affair partner they're not having sex with their wife/partner. Then the wife/partner gets pregnant and the other woman can't understand how.

Have you and your partner ever discussed your boundaries and expectations within a monogamous relationship? You need to rethink this idea that if a woman has "enough" sex (or "good enough" sex) with a man that he won't stray. Sometimes it's not possible to have lots of sex, because of illness or distance or pregnancy or bereavement or stress. Broadly speaking people are either faithful or they're not.

Not sure why this has been posted twice?

Dont really see this as a big deal? My sex life is fine however i also enjoy having a play on my own (what woman doesn't) whilst fantasizing about some celeb crush or whatever, are we saying masturbating when in a relatiinship is cheating??

I'd find this really weird and would be put off. Fair enough if he's home alone and I've gone out somewhere. But if I was in the house and he was turned on from kissing me, I'd expect him to come and find me if he was still aroused. Bit weird to go on Google images when you're in the same house as him.

It's up to you whether you're okay with someone who does that. Ultimately, it's your relationship and your boundaries. If it upsets you, then leave because he'll probably do it again.

He will definitely do it again,My husband has been doing this for ages looking at porn,searching videos for naked sexy women ect...Then he got messages sent from sex messenger and he gets filth sent from a load of pervs on a group chat!At first he denied it!!!!!!!but I took photos of what I found!!!!!but he didn't stop!I had to go for counselling as I couldn't deal with it ,I got physically and emotionally ill There's probably women on here that will say why ???it's only porn!!!!but when your in a relationship and you hope that you are everything to your husband\partner it is a big kick on your self-esteem.You feel unattractive,and disrespected and even more hurt when they lie.However it's hard when you love them,but I am now at the point where I've had voiced my issues and told him how it made me feel and I thought maybe I was not making him happy!After our last talk in December when things were really bad I thought things were going ok.How wrong was I The day after Valentine's the behaviour started again sneaking off to the toilet with his phone,I thought it was just me being paranoid again,so I looked through his phone as I thought I might be imagining it and you can guess what I found sex videos in his Facebook history.It's makes me so angry and I don't even want him near me.So you are not alone and I am so glad that I have found other women that I can talk too about it.