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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

would it be bad for raltionship if i sleep in a different room?

24 replies

misdee · 07/12/2004 08:34

dh has kept me awake again all night, by being sick. not his fault, but he is incredidly noisey when retching (sorry TMI), plus he sweats a lot so only have a summer cuvet on the bed atm. (this is because of his heart problems) I am shattered. I am seriously thinking aboutr seperate rooms, i used to sleep in the spare room occasionally at the old palce but here i dont have a spare room, so would have to convert the attic i think.

i just really want a good nights sleep.

OP posts:

Original poster

misdee · 07/12/2004 08:35

relationship, grrr, at my typos.

OP posts:

emkana · 07/12/2004 08:42

I think it would be far worse for the relationship if you started to feel resentful for not being able to sleep. Dh and me slept in seperate rooms for nearly two years, and we got on great, better in some ways.
Go for it, I say.

Original poster

misdee · 07/12/2004 08:51

thats what i feel like some days anyway.

oh gawd, i have a driving lesson today and i'm feeling awful.

OP posts:

gothicsanta · 07/12/2004 09:02

sometimes separate space is good everyone needs to sleep me ad dh sometimes sleep apart for health reasons it is the staying together taht is important not where you sleep

marialuisa · 07/12/2004 09:11

we sleep apart and get on fine. if anything we get on better as I'm not exhausted from lack of sleep!

noddyholder · 07/12/2004 09:27

I think you would cope with things better if you had sleep.I also know from experience that your dh would feel better and less guilty if he knew he wasn't disturbing you.my dp used to get up with me every night when I was on dialysis and I would have preferred to have been alone it is sometimes easier

winnie1 · 07/12/2004 09:37

We sometimes sleep apart and have done since ds was little. I don't like it, initially I had huge problems with it (thinking it was a statement about our relationship) but now it is simply a necessity on occassions. Lack of sleep over a period of time is torture and one needs to be able to function. Getting sleep is better for a relationship than not getting sleep.

ladyhawk · 07/12/2004 09:45

i dont think it would harm your relationship as GS has said is soo true its being together that counts
a few years ago my dh was ill and i couldnt sleep either so i bought a bed settee for the kids playroom and when he was particularly bad i slept there.
It didnt hurt our relationship in any way and it meant that i got the rest i needed.HTH

Carla · 07/12/2004 09:55

We sleep apart and I love it! dH with dd1, me with dd2, the spare room for ..... you know

sponge · 07/12/2004 10:19

Trouble is, after too many trips to the spare room, who's going to sleep with dd3?

Carla · 07/12/2004 10:55

Original poster

misdee · 07/12/2004 11:09

well i'm gonna try and squeeze a single bed into babies room.

fortunatly the sofa is comfortable.

OP posts:

Original poster

misdee · 08/12/2004 08:03

another night with hardly any sleep. dh was being sick again. feel so sorry for him, but need some decent sleep. even tho i can grab a few hours during the day, its not the same.

OP posts:

nailpolish · 08/12/2004 08:07

misdee poor you and poor dh. you need to solve this prob and if it means sleeping apart, then do it. everyone will be happier, and after all, you are only 'sleeping' apart. hope dh is better soon xxx

Original poster

misdee · 08/12/2004 08:13

i dont hage anywhere to put a bed right now tho. thats the main problem. the only thing i can think of is a high single sleeper, which dd1+2 can have in their room in a year or so, but i shouldnt really be climbing up there whilst 6months pregnant.

OP posts:

nailpolish · 08/12/2004 08:18

gosh never realised you had such a dilemma. can you not get the high sleeper (sounds like a good idea!) and ask dh to sleep up there? or is he not really well enough? you must be finding it hard just now with being pg. lots of luck xxx

Original poster

misdee · 08/12/2004 08:22

i must just do that. it'll be closer to the bathroom for him as well.

OP posts:

orangina · 08/12/2004 09:29

poor old you misdee... I hope you manage to get this sorted. Not in quite the same position as you, but i'm 22+ weeks pg, and have had terrible sleeping probs on and off. I had to pack dh off to the spare room for weeks at a time, as any little movement from him would wake me up, and the best thing to sedate me back into a doze is listening to the radio, not v conducive (sp?) to restful sleep for him! We felt a bit sad (he kept saying "I never thought we'd be sleeping in separate rooms after only 3 months of marriage...." in a mournful way), :(, but since my sleep has got better, he's come back, and it's fine. MUCH better that you get some decent sleep. It certainly helped me to be less witch-like, which must be good for our relationship! . Pack your dh off to the single high bed... he may be sick, but he's not pg....

ladyrobinredbreast · 08/12/2004 09:45

didnt realise you were pg as well you must be shattered..
What age are your dd,s is it possible for dh to sleep in one of their beds and one of them to sleep with you??
Hope tou manage to find a solution soon it must be hard for youxxx

Clayhead · 08/12/2004 22:05

We often sleep apart as dh often works nights so I don't think it matters at all. Sometimes, good sleep just matters more!

AtHomeMum · 08/12/2004 22:07

duvet issue - we have 1 each - me a nice high tog job & dp a flimsy summer one - also means i don't freeze if he nicks it in the night. (2 duvets on 1 bed i mean)

Original poster

misdee · 10/12/2004 09:07

i slept last night!! i feel human again.

dd1 sometimes sleep in my bed and nick her bed, but i dont want her to get into the habit really, as she is just 4. dd2 will def wat to sleep in my room all the time if i let her lol.

i am shopping tomorrow for a bed, even tho dh says its a waste of money, but we'll need the bed evanutaully as #3 will need a bed.

OP posts:

orangina · 10/12/2004 11:35

so glad to hear you slept... it's a joy to feel human once more isn't it?!?! And definitely buy that bed.... that's what dh and I had to do when we reaslied that the only short term solution to the problem was putting him in it ....

ladyrobinredbreast · 10/12/2004 12:06

great misdee..glad to here you are feeling better,good bed huntingxxxxxx

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