Been together 6 years and fear we may need to end it. I love him a lot and we are aligned in every other respect. But his communication is terrible. He doesn't talk about things, he doesn't complain, he just powers on through everything without talking about it e.g. if a parent has been taken to hospital, he'll tell me the next day once everything is ok or he's had time to process. If we are given a terrible room in a hotel, he doesn't complain, etc. (trying to thing of both serious and everyday examples). But it also means he comes across very unsympathetic when I have issues too or I feel it would be silly to complain. And he forgets everything I ever tell him. And it drives me crazy. I feel upset and unheard. 6 years down the line, I feel I can't express anything. So I bottle it up for weeks and end up breaking down or shouting at him over something minor. We then have a conversation where it turns out he has been listening and remembers stuff and is sad about it but would rather not talk about it.
So now I'm the horrible person in the relationship while he's the calm breezy one. I'm the problem and need to rein it in. He's now said he's not sure he can have children with me because of my temper. I'm so hurt and ashamed and lost. I do have a temper, he's right. I tried therapy but the therapy actually brought out how frustrating my relationship is and I stopped it because it was too painful to think about it.
I don't know how to act differently. I'm the kind to say something about an issue and resolve then and there (privately of course). I can't just smooth over things like that and never talk about it.
I need to end it. But I fear that maybe I am the problem and it's all my fault and I've ruined my relationship because I can't control my emotions. There's no good outcome here.