Trapped and scared.

[MotherofBingo]

I'm not happy in my relationship, haven't been for a very long time now, there are constant arguments that are bad for our children too. He isn't physically abusive, and a lot of what he says makes me think I am the problem. Which I might be. I am not going to deny that - but regardless of that we are not good for each other. The trouble is he won't leave, I work part time because that's all I can afford (childcare wise), I earn roughly £700 a month and soon to be less because my hours are being cut due to business needs. We privately rent and the average 2 bed flat in the area is £1,500pcm.

I have nowhere to go, no family or friends who could help me and I am all too aware that we are in the middle of a cost of living crisis and the housing crisis in this country is terrifying. I am terrified and see no way out. I've tried to get help, I even asked for help from my GP but they always ring back when he's here and I can't talk. I don't know where to go for help or even begin to ask for help. I just want to get out and I can't see a way out. He had made me feel like such an awful person and I can't do this anymore, I just want to break free but I don't believe I'll get any help and I can't even see how to access it. I've spoken to womens aid but even with that advice I still feel lost.

I can tell its very distressing. Its awful when the other half makes us feel so worthless and always at fault. This means you start walking on eggshells most of the time. But l dont want to make assumptions on your behalf, but clearly not a good place to be in.

There are ways. Is your partner on the tenency? Or both of you?

Seeing how low your income is, should you part ways, you might be entitled to help, check the website entitled to, there you will get a rough idea on the help you can receive.

Someone with more knowledge will hopefully come along soon.

Both of us are on the tenancy, but obviously I can't afford the rent alone and asking him to leave hasn't worked.

Have you checked how much you would be entitled to in benefits?

entitledto.co.uk is usually very accurate x

Abusive men often refuse to leave and he is the problem here, not you. He just wants you to think you're the problem because this will confuse you further which is what he wants. He likes having you about in order to abuse you further.

Can you see the GP for a face to face appointment?.

It may be an idea to also contact the Rights of Women or a local firm of Solicitors who could advise you on obtaining non molestation or occupation orders re this individual.

Please continue with Womens Aid, they can and will help you here. Feeling lost is also commonplace in abusive relationships, all the words you are writing here are words that abused people write.

I have looked at entitledto.com and turn2us and sometimes I think theoretically we would be OK, I know that there are very few landlords who will accept benefits claiments as tenants. I know when we got this flat we needed a joint annual income of 3.5x the annual rent. With the rent increases in the area over the last 5 years I can't see how anyone affords it now. I'm also concerned about childcare, his family provide childcare at the moment and I worry what would happen if I lost that support.