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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friendship advice

4 replies

Mimi198 · 09/03/2023 22:09

Hi !
Sorry for bad english. I have a friend, single mum with her autistic son. She sacrified her carrier, social life and dating life for him. Her whole life turns around her child. She has two childhood friends but they both live a couple hours drive. I'm her only friend near her home. She has her mother and her sister but their relationship is often conflictual. My friend and her son are important to me and I hope to keep them in my life for a long time. The problem is, I have a big family with whom I am close, have a close circle of friends and a carrer I realy enjoy. Sadly, I think my friend and her son consider myself more important to them than there are for me. They do have a big place in my heart but I dont think of them everytime I want to try a new activity or everytime something happens in my life. On the other side, my friend calls me each time she wants to do something new or everytime something happens in her son's life, she wants me to be part of it....Is it me who is a bit hard? Should I explain to her how I feel about it? Or just let her know through my actions ?

OP posts:
Enufsaid · 09/03/2023 22:21

Oh goodness, what are your reactions like at the moment?

are you encouraging this perspective?

I think it would be hurtful to tell her. But I know I personally would have to communicate it some how as it sounds very claustrophobic!

Mimi198 · 09/03/2023 23:18

I don't think I'm encouraging this perspective has I feel free to say no to the activities/things I dont want to do. Also, my schedule is not the same as theirs.

OP posts:
FatGirlSwim · 09/03/2023 23:42

If you feel free to say no then just continue doing that. I also think it would be really hurtful to tell her and would probably damage your friendship forever. Just feel free to say no and to continue to spend time with the others who are important to you too?

Mimi198 · 10/03/2023 00:40

Last christmas, she told me I was part of her family. I'm feeling strange/sad ever since because I have a feeling of friendship for them, no more, no less. I have a family and I usualy don't mix them with friends.

OP posts:
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