Older DH being distant and selfish - affair?

[Bumdoubt]

How do you know if your partner is having an affair? I’m not sure if he is but he’s always on his phone, goes to the toilet with it, at night time when he wakes up. I’m not sure if it’s just tiktok. He used to drink heavily, only occasionally now.

we’ve not had sex since early last year, it wasn’t that good. He makes excuses as he’s tired from work, kids, etc. when we’re together he just turns away. I’ve asked him and he reassures me he does love me. I just feel so unwanted and lonely. I’m 47 and he is 55. I feel he’s being really selfish not making me feel good as a partner.

can anyone help??

Now you’ve said more, it may simply be the ED - but don’t dismiss an emotional affair too. I have seen on here stories of blokes who expect their waives to tolerate sexless relationships (even blaming them for the ED issues in the first place, which is a cruel and manipulative thing to do) while they put their own financial ducks in a row, court the OW and then do something about it.