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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

After 3 years of been single i started to feel something for someone

1 reply

Gryuh · 09/03/2023 14:39

I need a little help with this topic. I am a 30-year-old man. About three years ago, my wife left me and went to another country, leaving me and our son, whom I had to raise on my own for that time. She later came back to take him to her new country. I had to move to this country 8 months ago and I am in the process of stabilizing myself economically. Currently, I live in my mother's house with her family.
The point is, three weeks ago, I met a 24-year-old woman through a dating app. My expectations were very low. I had met women before but couldn't seem to spark that connection. I thought it was no longer possible for me to feel something for someone until I met her. On the first date, I felt something and didn't know what it was. It had been 3 years since I had genuinely felt attracted to someone. I'm not a person who talks much, but that first date lasted 4 hours, during which we didn't stop talking. Then we had 4 more dates of the same quality. Before each date, I always wondered what we were going to talk about, but things flowed naturally. We went to the beach, we had our first kiss on the fourth date, and on the fifth date, we had sex.
She texts me good morning every day, and I feel like she's trying to keep the conversation going through text. To see me, she has to drive 20 to 30 minutes, which shows interest. BUT, I feel like it's too good to be true. We always talk by text, but it's not the same as in person. I feel like she doesn't express her feelings by text as she does in person. For some reason, I don't feel the seriousness of her commitment. I feel like it's more about passing the time for her than something long-term. We had sex, but I feel like I wasn't good enough. I finished too quickly, and she didn't say anything about it. We stayed in bed enjoying the moment for a long time.
Because of my financial situation, I feel insecure, which makes me wonder why a woman like her would want something long-term with me. At the moment, I have nothing else to offer. It is not sexy to be with me. What I can say about myself is that I'm focused on my goal. I've been exercising every day for 3 years, and I'm in very good physical shape. I make her laugh all the time, but something in me tells me to be careful. When I just want to let go and tell her how much I like being with her and how quickly we've connected, I'm afraid she won't reciprocate and I'll get hurt again.

OP posts:
Fairycake2 · 09/03/2023 21:12

It's still really early days. Try not to overthink things and just enjoy the dates

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