What should I do? Need opinions - Relationship

[Moorex]

Hi everybody.

Met a great guy a couple months back, have been close together since. Met up a lot of times, always in contact. I realized this week I am secretly in love with him. He doesn't know, we never had that convo. We have been really great friends from the start and have a very deep connection.

He's very busy though. From the day we met. Always working. Eventhough he is busy he always sends me reels throughout the day. (Reels are videos on instagram) When we're together I can feel the tension, the good one :-) but suddenly it seems like he fell from earth this week.

No talk, no interaction, nothing. He normally watches all my stories on Instagram, sends me videos like I mentioned before, or asks me how I am doing. But nothing! It has been like this for 5 days now.

I dreamed about him 2 days ago and felt like something was off. I texted him right away when I woke up and asked him if he was okay, told him if he needs someone he can always call me. He opened the message a day later and still hasnt responded eventhough he has been active on Facebook many times. (Yes i get into stalker mood, bad trait of mine)

Can anyone advice me what to do? Should I call him? I am not sure if I did something wrong? He is normally amazing in communicating, always tells me how he feels and his emotional intelligence is very high. That's why I am concerned. I feel like this is out of character for him.

Honestly this whole incident made me realize I am in love with him. I think I knew before I just didn't want to admit it. I am pretty sure he feels the same way as he's always been a bit nervous around me eventhough he is very laid-back in daily life. I am in my late 20's and he's in his mid 30's.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for your upcoming advises. Really debating with myself about if I should call him or not

@Moorex if it was my message that you said hurt then I apologise. I don’t think it is that English is your second language, I think it’s the intensity of the relationship and the feelings, it sounds like a teenage infatuation.
i think you may need to take a step back, it doesn’t sound like it’s making you happy

Honestly this whole incident made me realize I am in love with him

It’s not love op. It sounds like you have anxious attachment and people who have this find being ignored or rejected activates their attachment system. This can cause stalker ish behaviour and being emotionally intense. The anxiety feels like love or attraction but it’s not. It’s just anxiety.

I don't think it's ghosting if a friend doesn't get in touch for 5 days. Otherwise every friend I've ever had has ghosted me and I hadn't even realised.

This is just 'my friend had a busy few days'.

OP, all the drama is yours. If you have feelings for him, tell him. Take it from there.

You're just friends? Are you sleeping together? I'm confused. If you're just friends who aren't sleeping together then you're massively overthinking him being busy for the past few days. If you're sleeping together then you're walking into a very painful situation as it seems you feel stronger than he does.

OP I think I get it.

You have a friend who you have been very close to because you have a lot in common.

You communicate regularly to the extent that when he dropped out of contact for more than a day or so you suddenly realise how much you miss him and that contact and how much you have come to think about him.

Thing is, you’re just friends. There’s never been any mention of anything more so by not being in touch for a couple of days he hasn’t done anything wrong and doesn’t know how much this has played on your mind because you’re just friends.

You have three options here.

You can ask him on a date, risk him saying no, and then the friendship will likely change.

Decide that as you want more and not being in contact is so much harder, you can withdraw gradually.

Or you just except the friendship for what it is, and the fact that sometimes he might just drop out of touch.

I have a friend a bit like this. We’ve been friends for years and have literally been there for each other through some of the hardest times of our lives.

We communicate regularly but he can be a sporadic communicator, and sometimes he drops out of touch. If I’m honest then yes, I miss him when he’s not in touch, and yes, I think I have feelings for him, have had for a long time.

But he’s a friend. He’s never implied that he wants anything more from me than friendship, and to me the friendship is worth too much to throw it away by telling him how I feel. Some friendships are worth more than that.

And because of that I just accept that that is who he is. he doesn’t owe me anything. He doesn’t have to stay in touch. When he disappears I sometimes check in just to make sure he’s ok and he does the same, but it’s just who he is and I know that he will be back in touch again soon enough.

All this intensity really achieves nothing.