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Original poster

No sex drive - is this normal?

11 replies

Hellenabe · 09/03/2023 03:01

After a breakup last year, I've had no inclination to date plus no sex drive/urges. I've been diagnosed as peri menopausal. I could quite easily not look online as I have no sense of enthusiasm about meeting anyone. But has anyone else felt this way?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hellenabe · 09/03/2023 06:46

bump!

OP posts:
Ladybug14 · 09/03/2023 06:50

If you don't want to date or have sex, don't! Live a nice, simple, happy life concentrating on you

Perfect 🥰

barmycatmum · 09/03/2023 06:52

Yes- I feel this way. I’m absolutely done, having been with someone who turned out to be a horrible, dishonorable man.
I have zero sex drive, and I cannot stand men.

very happy by myself, free of his demands

Watchkeys · 09/03/2023 06:56

Do you think you're somehow supposed to want sex and a relationship? You're not. What you're saying is like saying 'I haven't been to the cinema for a year, and I've no enthusiasm to go, either. What's wrong with me? Am I normal?'

You are normal, yes. Don't do anything or expect anything from yourself. Get on with your life, your interests, meeting your goals. You'll probably come across someone you fancy at some point, or feel sexual, but it can come and go as it pleases.

flipperdoda · 09/03/2023 07:04

I had this for about a year/year and a half after my last breakup...and I was mid 20s so definitely not peri. Nothing wrong with you. Sometimes we just don't fancy dating and all that comes with it - it can be truly wonderful, but it can be shit and it always comes with at least a little work. Enjoy focussing on you!

Zanatdy · 09/03/2023 07:28

I spent over a decade single and perfectly happy. Rarely even did any solo fun, just had zero drive or inclination. Then recently I started dating an ex colleague and although now it’s got complicated and probably over due to his lack of time and lack of communication (that’s another story) the sex was amazing and it’s made me realise that I do want some sex in my life. So once it’s definitely over with him I’m going to think about doing some OLD and having some fun. I have time on my hands now my kids are older.

Nothing wrong with being on your own and happy with that. I must say part of me wishes I’d never met ex colleague again as a man often brings stress and heartache

TurnipSurprise · 09/03/2023 07:39

If you are happy single then there is absolutely no reason not to stay that way.

If you change your mind in a few years you can date then, if you don't, then stay single. It's your life to live as you please.

Original poster
Hellenabe · 09/03/2023 08:57

Zanatdy · 09/03/2023 07:28

I spent over a decade single and perfectly happy. Rarely even did any solo fun, just had zero drive or inclination. Then recently I started dating an ex colleague and although now it’s got complicated and probably over due to his lack of time and lack of communication (that’s another story) the sex was amazing and it’s made me realise that I do want some sex in my life. So once it’s definitely over with him I’m going to think about doing some OLD and having some fun. I have time on my hands now my kids are older.

Nothing wrong with being on your own and happy with that. I must say part of me wishes I’d never met ex colleague again as a man often brings stress and heartache

@Zanatdy this sounds like me, no real yearning and happy being me. But like a PP said, I feel like im meant to want to date/have sex but that feeling has gone

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 09/03/2023 09:05

Welcome to unmedicated menopause (although some women go the other way and their sex drive increases).

beguilingeyes · 09/03/2023 09:12

The menopause has destroyed my sex drive. My poor husband. I'm on testosterone but it's not having any effect.

Smooshface · 09/03/2023 11:03

I feel the same, almost two years after separation. Some of my issue is affair trauma, having to accept that my body will be ready when it is ready and I just have to keep working on myself until then. Awaiting counselling through NHS.

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