Loner sibling refuses to talk to anyone.

[JustSoSadForHim]

I'm just feeling overwhelmed with sadness after hearing everything that I've stopped l

My brother 30, has gradually stopped communicating with us. He tends to get defensive in a discussion then creates an argument and then refuses to speak to the person. In my immediate family hes done it to most of us. Even if we try to talk to him he just blanks you and carries on doing whatever.

As a child he was pretty happy and normal, despite his health condition. Secondary and college was harder but he managed to get through it, but left with no qualifications. Even though he wasn't academic he could still hold a conversation and had social skills. Hes never worked due to health issues, doesn't have any hobbies or friends and goes out only when he has to for shopping, his life has been this routine for over 10 years but mum lived there and he would talk to her, until she recently moved in with other family in another town as she became frail. I'm totally sure he gos days without speaking to anyone. Most of the family know hes got depression but no one will dare confront him, as hes previously lashed out when things get confrontational and even if they did he wouldn't do anything about it.

He currently lives in our childhood family home, in the same box room hes had throughout his childhood. My cousin lives there too but he doesn't really talk to her properly only if necessary. Despite him refusing to talk to me in years, I have still message him on special occasions and tell him hes welcome anytime, but get no reply.

I've been told by my cousin that my brother is displaying really odd behaviour, which fit in with OCD, counting, repeating behaviours.

I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly sad at the loneliness of his life. What can I do to help him, even though he wont communicate with me. Also has his lack of social interaction triggered the OCD?

I used to have OCD (remission now) and it wasn't so much that contact triggered it but that I had no headspace for anything else and that meant contact. I'd get irritated and simply ignore everyone and everything else

Its obsessive

I honestly don't think I cared about anything beyond what I was obsessed during my worst time

For me, exposure response prevention therapy unlocked me and gave me my mind and relationships back and I was hospitalised it was that bad before getting well enough to do this therapy

Biggest task I think is getting him to realise he has it (providing he has and it's accurate)

In some ways, the best thing for me was my illness getting so out of hand it was obvious I needed to be hospitalised bc until then I knew it wasn't "rational" but I also didn't believe it was OCD

Most of the family know hes got depression but no one will dare confront him, as hes previously lashed out when things get confrontational and even if they did he wouldn't do anything about it.

Perhaps instead of confronting him, someone just needs to go round and have a gentle chat with him. Maybe as your cousin already lives with him, she could try and talk to him? Or could you pop round and try? There is no need to be confrontational though.