Old

[Solobear]

I'm thinking of doing old.
Not sure if I'm making excuses or not tho but how does an introvert who's not attractive, either at work or with kids 24/7 mange to go on a date?? I've known of 2 people lately that have broke up and moved on with someone else within weeks!!! I'm years into being single which I normally love till today that is 😅don't know what has come over me but I feel abit lost today! Is old what I need? I have no idea 🙈

It can he brutal but fun.

If what you want out of it is a decent life partner, in my experience (and I include friends in that), you might not have much luck.

If want you want is a bit of fun, a few dates and sex but nothing serious, you'll have a great time.

I used it as practice for real dating. I didn't meet anyone worth giving up being single for but I got some great stories to tell down the pub, learnt a lot about myself and a had a few good nights out. The sex was a bit meh.

It's a way of meeting people.

If you enjoy going on dates for their own sake, or are interested in casual sex, it's really good. I do think it's harder work if you don't like dating and want to get to the companionship/settled relationship bit asap. But I say that having met dp on OLD 2 years ago and it's all v nice and was straightforward.

I think if you don’t have a regular babysitter it’s going to be tough. Reason I stayed single for 10yrs. I recently started dating an ex colleague, my kids are teens now and no babysitter needed but he has sole custody of his much younger kids. His ex wife was due to start seeing them more regularly, hence the reason he asked me out when we saw each other again after a few years not seeing each other (we always had chemistry). But it’s not happened and isn’t likely to for a while and it’s been so tough with him needing to ask elderly parents to babysit. Fact is his communication sucks and I’ve had enough of his lack of it so it looks like it’s over so I’d say be careful about getting into any dating (online or otherwise) if you are with kids 24/7.

But if you do have an evening or two a week go for it. I’m sure it’s not just super models on there. I might give it a go once I’ve dusted myself down from this guy. I was so happy being single, now I’ve had a taste is amazing sex I don’t think I can just slot back into my single life! Spring and summer is coming and I quite fancy some evenings dates in the city / walking along the Thames! I have to say though this time I’m only going to guys who have some time on their hands as the ex colleague and I were really at the wrong stages of our life’s, and as much as I really like him and am sad it seems over, I really didn’t fancy going back to 6yr old children since my youngest is 15 and eldest 30 this year! Didn’t mean I wouldn’t have had it worked out but his loss. I need to start thinking about my dating profile and some photos. My colleague has been doing it for a few years, currently loved up. She’s going to help me with it - good luck so exciting

Turn this around: what have YOU got to offer someone? If you aren't available to build any sort of meaningful intimacy it's not really viable is it? Or fair to expect the other person to want a relationship with you? Maybe wait until you have some consistent free time, or explore casual dating in the meantime.

If you have no free nights at all the I don’t think it’s really that viable. How old are they and could you find sitters if you did give it a try.

Stop viewing yourself as unattractive, for a start. OLD can be exposure to a lot of people, and thus a lot of rejection. If you're going to put that down to how attractive you are, OLD will hurt.

OLD is good if you're confident in yourself and you know what you want. Then you can walk away from people who don't float your boat, and people can walk away from you, and you just keep doing it until neither of you want to walk away.