This is strange yes?

[Tiredandfedup22]

Met a man via OLD.

Went on a few dates.

Stayed over once without dtd and he was all over me all night.

Following week stay over dtd and he never touches me again, not even a cuddle in bed.

He did kiss me goodbye, but to be honest, I found the lack of touching through the night and no morning sex really odd.

I half expected him to stay on bed whilst I left!

I very much doubt I will hear from him again.

Is this just the norm now?

Even if it had been a ONS i would have expected more than that, which makes me think there was a reason behind him not touching me. It just seemed so strange.

Tbh I'd assume some sort of lack of confidence/insecurity on his part given the overall circumstances and that he's messaged. Had he had a drink during the evening and the bravado from that worn off?

Given that he's messaged it doesn't sound like he's ghosting you. Can you be direct and say you felt he was a bit off this morning.
Maybe he just felt awkward

Maybe he needed Viagra and had ran out by the morning?

No he hadn't had much to drink and I don't think he uses viagra as he didn't seem to have any issues there last week, even though we didn't dtd.

I'm honestly not sure.

I am wondering if it was a cleanliness issue as he is abit ocd on that front.

I don't want someone I'm sleeping with to think of me as dirty after though 🤦‍♀️

He might just be sending one message out of curiosity to make sure I'm home safe.

I really hope I haven't knocked his confidence in anyway, though he's certainly knocked mine!

Will report back.

Tell him you're home fine and ask him how he thought last night was. That'll open him up to asking you the same thing, if he cares, and you can be honest.

I'm not sure I'm brave enough to ask @GoodChat .

I replied about getting home and asked if he made it to work OK (there was snow).

He has messaged as normal about work and his plans this evening. I haven't opened or replied.

I don't know what to do now as I didn't think I'd hear from him.

He's not brought up last night though and after our other dates I've always messaged to say thanks and say I'd enjoyed it, but didn't message at all when I got home this morning.

This is so awkward.

So just to update.

He's messaged as normal today, it's never come up on conversation and I'm not sure if I should say something or not.

We haven't arranged another date as we're both busy over the weekend.

If he does want to see me again, I might just go with it and see if the same thing happens again 🤷‍♀️

You're over thinking this is my opinion

Oh I most definitely am @cosmicbabe

Will try and stop now as this is possibly a me problem 🙈

How many men are you seeing?

Don’t let this slightly awkward first go out of the gate put you off all men, OP !
Did you enjoy the sex ? Do you want to see him again ?
Don’t put all your dating eggs in one basket, arrange a couple more dates with some other blokes and don’t overthink this encounter too much.

Just the one @TicketBoo23 I wasn't looking to date anybody, was just being nosey on Tinder!

I'm not sure I'm cut out for dating @JoanCandy . I took a fair bit of persuasion to meet him in person. I do enjoy his company though and odd post sex experience aside, he's really nice to me, which is a refreshing change from my ex.

I'm not very confident and that puts me off meeting people for dates when they've asked.

Probably a sign that I'm not ready really, but at least I've had a go!

Exactly ! More power to you, I’m nowhere near ready yet 😣

@JoanCandy it's taken me 2 years to get to this point and it has been very unexpected.

I decided in Jan that I had to put myself out there so to speak, but I didn't expect to actually click with anyone.

To be fair, he's the only one with decent chat. I'm not sure I could take another dry conversation at this point 😂

I am just trying to take it for what it is.

How far are you into your dating journey?

Yep, his behaviour seems strange.
If you think it is worth seeing him again can you just ask him in a relaxed way - 'I notice you weren't up for cuddles after we were intimate, I'm wondering what that is about?'

You'll learn heaps from how he reacts. If he denies/stonewalls/gets defensive it's an easy pass.

Listen to Female Dating Strategy podcast for dating stories that will reassure you this man's behavior says more about him then it does about you.

It took me literally years to be able to sleep comfortably with my DP as he's cuddly and I'm not. Maybe he's used to sleeping alone and made an effort the first night to cuddle but had such bad sleep that the next time he tried to keep his own space? That's what I used to do! But tbf I was upfront about my need for sleep to partners. One guy got offended when I left the bed to go sleep in the spare room after several hours of sleeplessness (for me not him) he was not a keeper. Ask him?

I echo @MaireadMcSweeney, it has taken me years to be able to sleep comfortably in the same bed as my partner. I'm not a cuddler, he is but he accepts this is how 'we' work.

He might just not be a cuddler.

I'm not a cuddly sleeper either, it wasn't that.

This man did not put a hand on me, like he was allergic to me 😂

I do think it's a him issue though.

If we see each other again and it's the same I'll mention it.

If we don't, I'll just continue to fund it odd.

Why would you see him again when you know that you really dislike his behaviour? That sounds crazy to me, a recipe for disaster.

Because other than that, he has been lovely to me and I enjoy his company, I just found that element of our time together strange.

Yeah, so as I suspected, he doesn't want to see me again.

Go figure 😢

Don't waste another second of your time on him.

I've been wondering for days what this OLD is everyone keeps posting about on here. Only just realising what it stands for 😂😂 feel like a right plonker hahah

Once the "chase" is over and the bloke has had the sex, often the man will be disinterested.

The lesson is - keep a man waiting longer