Looking back, yes. We have very different views and very different ambitions.
He despises education as a waste of time, I work in education and see it as a way to improve your life chances.
He is extremely materialistic, his measure of success is about the biggest house, most expensive car, status symbols of private number plates, expensive watches, a selfishness.
I work in public service, appreciate time and quality of life ( when I can get any) I give to others.
He is controlling and self centred.
He had an affair. He treat me as if he was the victim. He only wanted family life during and after divorce on his terms. He hated having to commit to his care of the kids ( every other weekend), he wouldn't support them with school or interests. He set each child against each other. He didn't want, and succeeded with one child for them to be more educated than him.
Financially, I started single parent life with some money from the family home ( that he put up for sale without me knowing). I took control and rather than live locally to him and accept his ‘sometimes the kids will come to me, sometimes pop to you’ idea moved out of area ( close enough for every other weekend contact). I worked hard. I saved hard. I cut costs.
I developed my independence, made new friends. Developed me.
I've succeeded in my career, far beyond his sneering ‘you will never manage to do that’ and actually far beyond what I thought I might achieve.
I have a very gorgeous, caring partner, again despite his sneering ‘noone will ever want you with three kids’ I haven't remarried, I want my independence. My partner of 12 years understands that.
Our DC’s don't wish for us to be together, ( they aged between 18 months and 5 when he left) they recognise and talk about how different we are, how they can't imagine us ever being together and how life has been much better for them, given the decisions I made as I headed for divorce.
I did have the option to stay with him, he asked for that to happen.
I have no regrets.