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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband has told people lies

4 replies

Treehugger87 · 06/03/2023 14:23

Bit of a long one so bear with me. My husband works pretty much seven days a week. I am left to work part time, look after three DC ,housework and part time uni course alone for the majority of the time. DH attends a sporting club twice a week but has decided to stop one night to pursue other hobbies. We have had a row about housework( his lack of it) which is a common theme in our relationship.
He said during the argument I stop him going out and he needs to have more than just our family. Apparently I have made comments about his hobby so he gave one night up and also doesn't go out because of these comments and that he hasn't got a life and everyone tells him all the time I rule the roost.
I'm gobsmacked! I've never stopped him going anywhere and certainly not told him to stop his hobby, that was totally his choice. I feel like he has blamed me to save face for his lack of enthusiasm. God knows what he's told people but it's totally untrue . Unsure how to handle this situation and am utterly fed up ! All I've asked for is help at home is that so wrong?

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 06/03/2023 14:36

Can you not both sit down and have a reset conversation. You both chose to have X3 children and you have to bring money in to pay bills and live a life. For a while everything else is just gravy.

Sounds like both of you are wanting to fit far too much into your lives.

Whilst kids are young, need full supervision and transporting parental hobbies are way down the list surely. Or at least get him to agree to a cleaner, if he is working everyday isn't that the least he could offer.

Doesn't he want to be around being a dad?

Treehugger87 · 06/03/2023 14:42

I feel like he's obsessed with working, again a conversation we have had several times. There's always a change and then it goes backwards again. He is a good provider but neglects the parenting at times. As for the hobbies I don't mind as we need other things in life,however it's more that he seems to have told people I'm some sort of controlling monster which is untrue. I would manage ok if he would be willing to help out with.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 06/03/2023 14:48

OK so, you can't trust him and he tells lies -horribke lies- about you to people. Why on earth would you want a person like that in your life anymore?

BTW, you sure he is actually at work those 7 days? Because he sounds like he'd be the sort of person who tells women his wife is a controlling monster - so he can cheat.

I'd be getting my ducks I a row. Life is too short to waste on someone who treats you with contempt.

Treehugger87 · 06/03/2023 14:56

He does work at weekends for people we know so fairly sure it's not cheating . It's just general laziness and the lack of ability to own situations. I am thinking long and hard as agree life is way to short

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