DC now have sibling via DH & OW how to cope

[Helpmethanks]

So
DH & OW now have their own baby

He left me for her and despite the age gap their relationship has flourished

The kids are excited about the baby -
its hard for me to hear!

Anyone been through anything similar got any coping tips ?

Remember that the baby is completely innocent.

And your ex would have destroyed his entire family and put your DCs through a lot - look at this as something positive and that something good has come out of it, which your children deserve after all they’ve been through.

Knowing this is a positive thing for your children won’t take your pain away but it’ll help you to get through it knowing that they are happy.

I think it’s fine to delegate stuff if it’s too painful. So if the kids want to get their half sibling a present, you could say, that’s a lovely idea, grandma/Auntie X (ex MIL or ex SIL) would love to help you with that. - Even better if they get on with you ok still and you can ask them directly to handle baby half sibling gifts.

This will be a test of their relationship. Just luxuriate in your freedom! Karma will out.

OP, the fact that your dc are excited about the baby says right away that yiou are doing a fantastic job as their mother. They feel excited and happy to share that with you, means they are coping very well with the whole new setup of things.
Focus on that. However hard it is. For the sake of your children, that is the best thing you can do, by being the bigger person and not letting them see it has affected you.