Hi I’m looking for advice , I’m sorry it’s a long one.
Basically I have reduced contact with my parents for around 6 months now I think I want to cut it completely but how. ( I am not living local to them but they have a holiday home where I live so are in the area from end March- Oct on and off.
The major issue is they got a dog ( chihuahua) who is now 3 , in the first year of the dog he showed nastiness but they didn’t acknowledge they used lockdown as excuse not to get training etc , then over the last two years the dog is worse he goes for strangers and my daughter has walked past (when they used to visit dog on mums lap) so my daughter would get off the sofa for example to walk past and the dog would growl show teeth even try to snap , nothing was done. The dog then bit a stranger on the leg who walked past my mum in a shop they didn’t call police unfortunately and just ended up banning the dog from that shop.
So last year myself and my partner told my parents they no longer can visit with the dog , we offered alternative arrangement the dog can go in the garden or even crate in the kitchen. My mum went really funny saying no way etc she treats dog like a baby saying it’s stressed etc anyway one day they turned up unannounced expecting to come in I was firm saying no dog can go in garden she said forget it then and walked off( this was oct ) since then little contact however what annoys me is on Xmas or birthday she would ring up and pretend nothing has happened , at Xmas I spoke on phone but recently ignored her bday calls because I feel it’s out of order she’s pretending things are normal . They refuse to get training for the dog.
There’s other back story too which has led to me realising my parents are actually toxic , when my daughter was 2 she was bit on the cheek by there old dog ( we moved out not long after ) again my mum refused to get rid of the dog blaming old age saying he gone senial, when the dog died a couple of years later I was happy didn’t feel anything and they couldn’t understand how I could be so cold. There’s also other issues like not so great childhood & I’ve spoke on the phone she says things like if a kid mis behaves should give a whack , many things we disagree on , she also used to call me regularly to moan about how my sister in law is bringing up my nieces and nephews ( absolutely fine btw but if she’s visited and there not wearing clothes just nappy etc she moans at me about it) one day I told her if she has a problem to tell them not me because I’ve had enough , From then ( the dog bit my dd ) the relationship hasn’t been great but kept it going as I have children, but now I think we all be better if we didn’t have a relationship at all, one child is too young to understand but my daughter is old enough teen ) to understand there putting the dog above us all etc , and she’s not too fussed about cutting contact , any advice appreciated.