Ive been trying to divorce my ex for 14 months. It's been incredibly difficult as we have no fam in the UK and 2 teenage kids and their wellbeing is the most important thing for me. My ex has been emotionally abusive and controlling which led me to want to separate, and I've been trying to navigate his mood not to waste loads on solicitors that could go on kids instead - we are comfortable now as I earn well but are far from wealthy and every penny counts.
He finally agreed to release of equity so house is now in my name since december and he bought a flat 5min walk from house so kids could come and go on their own. However he is not in a rush to move at all (been 2 weeks already), and keeps making up more excuses and expenses to delay and drain me more of money. Since I asked for divorce he lives in the house, doesnt help with anything or pays for anything, but I'd been patient as he was recovering from depression and only got back into work in a low paying job in June. But I'm so anxious and stressed this will never end! He refuses to sign consent order for divorce, even after agreeing all the split of money etc. He just wants to hurt me and drag the process on to keep control. He knows if we went legal itd be worst for everyone, but being bad for me is good enough for him...
I know most will say I should just get legal but I dont have fam or super close friends here, no one to back me up if he goes trully crazy and I don't want to expose the kids to a bad break up...
Not sure even why Im writing here as I know I will just endure and hope and wait... if only I could get him out of the house and to his flat, I could perhaps get solicitors on the case for consent order without him living under my roof... I hate arguments and keep insisting I want a peaceful and as friendly as possible end but he says he doesnt, wants to see me hurt... I dont get it as I said if we are in a good relationship I will keep helping him with some cash on our joint account so he can enjoy with kids etc and obviously if it gets ugly that goes, but if I say this to him he is very verbally agressive, says I dont want to threaten him... He is a smart man, and can be good, no one outside my 4 walls would imagine him to be like he is, he still doesnt allow me to see anyone, gets upset if theres no food for him or if I go out I need to tell him even if he does and does not explain...
I feel so aweful and weak for allowing this to go on for so long... In a way its a victory he eventually signed out of the house and bought flat but what if he never leaves or spends all my money before then? Because he says wont go unless has a new wardrobe, new bathroom, new kitchen... and I keep paying because want him out....