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Original poster

Taking yesrs to get over an ex

10 replies

Viviennemary · 04/03/2023 22:12

I have known a couple of folk that have never forgiven their exes. (with good reason.) But is it any good to hold on to grudges and not move on.,Why should an ex be allowed to ruin the rest of you life. They are not worth it.

OP posts:
Sideorderofchips · 04/03/2023 22:21

Unless you live their lives don't judge.

Xrays · 04/03/2023 22:34

I think there’s a difference between letting it ruining your life and just quietly hating them. Sometimes you can’t help but hate them.

Original poster
Viviennemary · 04/03/2023 22:38

I certainluy didn/t mean to be judgemental. Im sorry if it came over that way. I just feel sad that people waste so much time dwelling on these exes even when they have been split up for a long time.

OP posts:
Johnisafckface · 04/03/2023 22:50

Sideorderofchips · 04/03/2023 22:21

Unless you live their lives don't judge.

This.

it has taken me years to get over being cheated on by two different partners. Not sure I will be completely 100% over it.

Cas112 · 04/03/2023 22:59

It took me a few years to get over my ex.. not because I was holding a grudge just because I was so purely heartbroken that someone I loved unconditionally and thought loved me unconditionally hurt me so much that it took me a long time to get over it and to get back to my old self and learn to trust again.

Some people genuinely believe they will be with someone for the rest of there lives and to have that taken away can be a pretty big thing. I think your looking at it wrong by looking at it in a holding a grudge kind of way instead of thinking about the emotional turmoil some people genuinely do suffer from

FictionalCharacter · 04/03/2023 23:04

Emotional pain can be very long lasting, and some people are more affected by it than others. “Getting over it” isn’t something you can choose to do. A lot depends on exactly what happened, what support you had at the time if any, and what has happened to you since.
It’s like healing from physical wounds. Some are severe and painful but heal nicely. Some leave deep scars that hurt and disable you forever. It isn’t a choice.

Original poster
Viviennemary · 05/03/2023 21:01

But you can't spend the rest of your life miserable because of an ex. I'm not saying it's a choice exactly.

OP posts:
Talon01 · 05/03/2023 21:34

I think it depends on various factors.

For example, imagine a scenario where your ex went off with someone else, lied to justify their behaviour and are still spiteful enough to use the kids as a weapon whilst you grudgingly let things go for the kids sake.

People think that is not getting over an ex when in reality it's them being nasty and not letting said person getting on with their life. Otmr at least trying to disrupt.

userxx · 05/03/2023 21:42

Cas112 · 04/03/2023 22:59

It took me a few years to get over my ex.. not because I was holding a grudge just because I was so purely heartbroken that someone I loved unconditionally and thought loved me unconditionally hurt me so much that it took me a long time to get over it and to get back to my old self and learn to trust again.

Some people genuinely believe they will be with someone for the rest of there lives and to have that taken away can be a pretty big thing. I think your looking at it wrong by looking at it in a holding a grudge kind of way instead of thinking about the emotional turmoil some people genuinely do suffer from

Do you love unconditionally now ?

Cas112 · 05/03/2023 22:34

@userxx yes I do.. I have a new partner and a new baby

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