Question about non harrasment order.

[Edinburghgirl2]

Hi, just looking for some advice.
I have a court appointment non harrasment order against my ex partner.
It says that he cannot contact, communicate with or approach me (or attempt to do these things)
We live in the same town so there are often times when we might be in the same shop, street, etc at the same time. Im not saying hes doing it on purpose at all, its a small town so these things happen but the thing is that the majority of the time he sees me he makes no effort to avoid me, walking past VERY closely, staying on the same side of the street, not leaving a shop when I'm already in the shop, etc. All of these times he could, for example, walk another direction or take another route but he chooses not to. I also noticed that when he does this he seems to discreetly film it.
Is that considered "approaching" me?

Hes not doing anything wrong by not leaving a shop or crossing the road. The filming isn't breaking the order either but he's probably doing it knowing that while he's keeping to the law he's also being intimidating. I'd speak to the officer dealing with your case & make them aware of it & see if what they suggest.

@Kinneddar thanks for replying.
Yeah I'm assuming he's filming/recording when he goes past because he's aware he's getting too close and wants proof that he didn't actually talk to me if I went to the police about it.
Why put yourself in that situation though? If he just makes a effort to not walk directly next to me or be around me then he wouldn't need to worry about recording it. Very strange.

It all depends on why there is a non-harassment order. Does he consider himself not guilty and filming to prove it so you can’t do a false allegation?

@ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor
No he was found guilty of domestic abuse and stalking around a year ago now

He's doing it because it hurts his ego to obey the order, he can't bear to think you might feel safer or that you've "won", and he's hoping to provoke you into something. Also to continue the abuse and stalking and intimidation.

I'd speak to your solicitor/police about what he's doing.

We've had no contact at all for over a year and the order still has 3 years left to run.
From what ive heard he's settled and happy with a new parter and has been for a while now so it's strange that he wouldn't just do his best to avoid me...that's what I would do if i was him, instead of trying to provoke me or cause unnecessary hassle for himself if I went to the police, because even if its not breaking the order I think the police would pay him a visit each time I complained just because of the level of abuse that was involved in our case and what he did to me.

Just a thought but, have you thought about changing town?

It's awful that that should have to be a consideration but, wouldn't it make your life much easier to not have to worry about bumping into this creep anymore, once and for all.

@Pinkbonbon I had actually moved house in the town I'm currently in (where i've lived/worked for the past 12 years) so he couldn't find me but after the court case him and his partner decided to buy a house here (they were not from anywhere near this area so it was bizarre they would move here) I informed the courts and police about this but there was nothing they could do.

Very suspicious.
Tbh I'd be looking to change jobs and move towns again. Somewhere further afield maybe.
Easier said than done of course though.

Unfortunately I'm unable to move again (my work, childcare, kid's school, finances, etc) or I definitely would.
It's just very strange as I'm 100% sure he's not romantically interested in me at all anymore as it was a very short relationship anyway and he's moved on so you'd think he'd want to be as far away as possible from me at all times.

I agree - contact police. He's trying to Intimidate you.

I wonder if his current gf has done a Clare's Law so she can see what he's like?

@piedbeauty As far as I know she is aware of his history (the case made the papers at the time and is still online when you search his name as well) I just don't think she cares.
It's just strange that he would still be trying to intimidate me after all this time when he's got a partner and isn't interested in me anymore. It's such a weird situation. You'd think he'd just leave well alone now.

Obsession and control. Do go to the police.

Maybe speak to Paladin (stalking advice charity).

Yes, obsession and control. And perhaps sour grapes/anger as it was 'your fault' he went to prison?

When I was an IDVA, if I had a case like this I'd suggest going back to court to vary the order. The current one may not be fit for purpose (stalkers often will operate just outside the boundaries of an order). In the past when I've had situations like these, orders have been varied to include a zonal protection area (ie the perpetrator can't go within a certain distance of the victim). It doesn't stop you both being in the same vicinity, but if he sees you then the onus is on him to leave as opposed to following you, filming you etc. You can also ask for a condition that he doesn't record you.

Really, if he's been found guilty of stalking, the police should have put a Stalking Protection Order in place rather than relying on you to get a Non-Molestation Order. You could approach the police and ask them to apply for an SPO on your behalf as they tend to be more comprehensive.

@category12 @piedbeauty
I think if its anything it would be angry as I very much doubt he's still obsessed or in love with me now. You'd think he'd just let it go though and concentrate on his own relationship and keep far-away from me.
I will speak to palidin though.

@GreyPaw thank you so much for your advice. I'll get in touch with my solicitor and see if we can do that. Sadly I'm dealing with with a very manipulative individual, with the backing of money and a better lawyer so he tends to slime his way out of these things.