Bringing food/drinks to another party

[Emeralds65]

Hi
I am really looking for some advice here
I recently hosted a party for all my siblings with a sleepover and didn’t expect anyone to bring anything and catered it all myself.
I also always pay the meal when I am eating out with my siblings. I can’t remember the last time one of my sibling paid the bill when we are out together.
Now one of my sibling is having a birthday party for his child and our mum and another siblings said we should all bring things to the party. They have all distributed things amongst themselves and want me to do one thing as well. Am I being unreasonable if I don’t want to do anything if someone else is hosting? I have never had anyone bring anything to mine because I never ask so is it wrong of me to expect the same?

I think YABU, it's just one thing to bring. You could ask them to do the same if you're not happy providing everything when you host

Well, yes.

Thats your choice.

They have made a different one.

If you feel taken advantage of, in future do the same and ask them to bring their own food / pay for their own meal

@Emeralds65

I'd maybe take something minor under duress, but I'd also stop providing everything when you host.

And I'd also stop paying for everybody when out.

They seem very adept at spending your money.

Please wipe that MUG note from your forehead

May I ask, why do you pay for the siblings when you eat out, and why you think they let you do that rather than, say, taking turns?

Of everything, that seems the cheekiest. (I've got relatives myself with form for this.)

What is the one thing they want you to take, btw? (Asking out of nosiness tbh.)

Thank you all for your suggestions.
Next tiem, I ain’t paying and not hosting a free for all.
I did not mind paying for their food when we eat out or providing food and everything when they come to mine tbh.
it’s not the cost of the thing that they are asking me to bring that bothers me.
I just feel like taken advantage of and also for the fact that the sibling who is hosting, I paid for his meal just the other day when he was at my parents.
I also paid for his whole family 3 weeks ago when we ate out.
The sibling who suggested that we all contribute to the party, made choices for himself what he is going to bring and then left the rest of the items to distribute amongst ourselves, the more expensive and difficult to procure ones. Don’t think that it was just a coincidence that he chose to pick the easier item.

I am one of the more stable and financially doing well siblings if you want to ask. Just to say, I am not the only one though.

It’s because I insist.

The sibling who suggested that we all contribute to the party, made choices for himself what he is going to bring and then left the rest of the items to distribute amongst ourselves, the more expensive and difficult to procure ones.

That's ridiculous. The person who hosts should do something substantial towards the meal. Usually the guests would bring a side or dessert or selection of drinks.

Offer something you're happy to take, not expensive/difficult things. A plate of sausage rolls or something!

Well stop insisting then.

It's normal to contribute food to a family party and it's normal to split/share the cosy of eating out.

It can make people feel quite uncomfortable when someone else insists on paying. It's quite possible that, if you insist, they just sit back and let you so as to avoid a public scene - if you're going to insist anyway.

I'd take this sibling's request as setting a new normal if I were you.

And reflect on why it is that you insist on covering all the costs.

Just take something - they would have too if you'd asked them!

Okay, I will take something and from now on I will ask for contributions towards the bill or take turns when eating out.
I still won’t ask to be brought things to my party if I am hosting at my place, it just doesn’t feel right to me.

When I had family, the person hosting would provide the most but everyone else would contribute something and we alternated hosting.

I think where I feel upset is: if you decide to do a party at your house and invite everyone that’s your choice. If you then decide that it’s going to our mum’s birthday party too joint with your child that’s again your choice.
Why, nearer the date, you expect everyone else to contribute?

Well either stop insisting, or stop bitching about it after the event.

You seem determinded to be awkward about taking ONE dish to a party, & determinded to single yourself out as "the one who always pays".

You can't have it both ways. Why not be less obstrusive with the cash, & let your siblings pay for themselves like grownups?

I think I would see this occasion as for the child and take something. Future occasions with siblings ? Well that you can have a think over.