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Original poster

What does this mean on What'sApp

46 replies

Alifeinaday · 03/03/2023 00:58

Just trying to make sense of something so wanted the opinion of the MumsNet hive !

Been chatting to a guy on WhatsApp for about a week. Met him on an online dating site and met in person a few days ago. He seems lovely checks out in terms of what he has told me about himself but there is something that is just niggling at me

When we are messaging in the evening, think constant stream of messages,whilst watching TV, back and forth, this really weird thing happens . He is online, then typing a Reply then goes off line straight after for 2-3 minutes. Then comes back online, responds - goes off line again. I don't understand why he would be offline between messages ?

Am I being too suspicious? Or am I missing something ?

OP posts:

Coolblur · 03/03/2023 09:09

Ask him, he'll think you're being really odd and never message you again. Problem solved!

I remember the days when you thought they probably weren't interested if they didn't phone you the following week after a date, not after replying to a message and going offline putting their phone down for a couple of minutes!

No idea why anyone keeps their last seen and online status set to on. Even read receipts seem to cause no end of stress for some people. If you can't handle it then don't use WhatsApp, social media or date anyone.

PinotPony · 03/03/2023 10:06

It's really not healthy to be watching for whether someone is online. It leads to obsessive behaviour as you've demonstrated.

Simple solution. Disable the online function. Neither of you will be able to see when the other is online. You can both respond to messages in your own time without feeling "watched".

Original poster

Alifeinaday · 03/03/2023 10:21

I'm honestly not stalking him, just not sure what all the statuses mean on WhatsApp and have read about some horror stories on here.

I have way too much much going on in my life to honestly care what the hell he is doing whilst messaging or not messaging and I'd rather watch paint dry than to be watching his status!!!

I just noticed it during a period where we where messaging backwards and forwards rapidly and I didn't want to miss a total red flag that's all. No drama, no obsessive behaviour on my part just a quick question that's all !

OP posts:

trustfall · 03/03/2023 13:18

Daffodilsandbeer · 03/03/2023 08:18

Wow. I’ve no words. That’s perfectly normal behaviour. Why are you tracking him so much, are you ok?

Yeah this.

Do you expect him to just sit with the app open the whole time eagerly waiting on a message?

FloydPepper · 03/03/2023 13:22

There is a red flag but I’m afraid you’re the one waving it op

Zola1 · 03/03/2023 13:31

You are seriously over thinking. I always close WhatsApp between messages and normally put my phone down and do something else before I reply. Sometimes I also open messages and either forget or finish what I'm doing before I respond. I definitely don't sit staring at the screen waiting for a message.

nc1013 · 03/03/2023 13:35

Alifeinaday · 03/03/2023 01:07

Ok thanks everyone I think I'm probably just over thinking it. I wondered if he was closing it down between messages as maybe he didn't want someone else to see, but obviously that is not what most MumsNetters think so I am probably over thinking it - thanks so much

I actually think it suggests he's not speaking to anyone else between your messages.

I do like most people here....reply to a message, put my phone down, hear a notification, pick up my phone, read & reply. Are you worried he's not starting at the screen waiting on your reply?

GiltEdges · 03/03/2023 13:36

FloydPepper · 03/03/2023 13:22

There is a red flag but I’m afraid you’re the one waving it op

This I'm afraid. Even if you're messaging back and forth, it's quite odd that you'd sit there staring at the screen waiting for his next message to come through. Which you evidently were doing in order to notice this.

shieldmaiden7 · 03/03/2023 13:50

Even if he was typing a long message, got distracted and his screen turns off he's going to appear offline until he turns his phone on again.
It's not normal to just sit there watching and waiting.

QueenAstrid · 03/03/2023 13:53

Give OP a break, she’s not a paranoid stalker, she just isn’t au fait with WhatsApp and wants to know her new guy isn’t like so many of the cheats we read about on here.
I agree it’s normal to go offline between WhatsApp messages though

Rose424 · 03/03/2023 14:12

Is there anything else that has made you cautious OP?

If you aren't familiar with WhatsApp, I'm another one saying that seeing a person go offline as soon as they've messaged you is quite normal.

cocksstrideintheevening · 03/03/2023 14:18

He has other things to do?

frozendaisy · 03/03/2023 14:20

It means he's reading football365 in between messaging you.

Comedycook · 03/03/2023 14:22

Poor sod.

Hadjab · 03/03/2023 18:19

I close all of my apps when I've finished with them - it saves battery life.

Watchkeys · 03/03/2023 18:43

I don't think you're ready to date OP, do you?

This is someone you've met once, and you're concerning yourself to the extent of writing on a forum about what he's doing in between messages to you. It's nothing to do with you, even if he's messaging other people. It's up to you to get to know him and learn about his habits and trustworthiness. What would you be like if you were trying to be in a committed relationship?

isthismylifenow · 03/03/2023 18:48

Alifeinaday · 03/03/2023 10:21

I'm honestly not stalking him, just not sure what all the statuses mean on WhatsApp and have read about some horror stories on here.

I have way too much much going on in my life to honestly care what the hell he is doing whilst messaging or not messaging and I'd rather watch paint dry than to be watching his status!!!

Can I ask what horror stories? It's just a messaging app, like Telegram and many others.

Just so you are aware of how WhatsApp works, the status is the 24hr long additional feature (similar to a story ). The online / offline is just that, showing when they have the app open or not. You can turn this feature off through settings. If you turn off so people cannot see you online, you won't be able to see if they are either. It blocks the whole feature.

username1722 · 03/03/2023 22:42

Unless there is a backstory to this, I would say you are being very paranoid.

I don't know anyone who stays online waiting for messages unless something urgent is going on.

Redglitter · 03/03/2023 22:48

He is online, then typing a Reply then goes off line straight after for 2-3 minutes. Then comes back online, responds - goes off line again

Is that now pretty much everyone uses WA. I know I do, so does everyone I chat with

Successgirl2022 · 03/03/2023 22:57

I prefer to have a planned video call (when you can see true emotions, facial expressions & reactions) and you can't have that while messaging.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 04/03/2023 00:22

phone in do not disturb mode, so it only shows online if you’re interacting with the app

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