DH says he's lonely

[hippygirllucky]

My poor DH says he's lonely. We had our baby last year and he's struggled to keep up with his old friends because of his new role as parent (they'd often hang out drinking etc in the evening). He prefers not to get too close to people at work, which I think of fair enough.

He was really upset last night because he said he didn't know where to find new friends. He said he just really wanted to be able to bond with another dad about being a dad (none of our friends have children) and have someone to relate to. Obviously he has me, but that's just not the same and I know that.

I really want to help him but have no idea what to suggest. I've met a lot of new friends through mums groups but there isn't anything like that here for him.

Any suggestions?

I'm in Ireland and we have 'Men's Sheds' here where men get together, go walking etc. Is there anything like that where you are?

Are any of his friends married/in longterm relationships where they may become dads in the not too distant future? That would probably help a lot.

Is there a local league/team for a sport or pastime he's interested in? Five-a-side, Dungeons & Dragons, real ale, speed crochet... have a look on MeetUp, that can be quite a good way of making connections.

Can he take the baby to classes/ activities/ parties etc. He will get to know people that way. It won't be overnight but it's a start.

Might be a few years down the road but:

• Going to the park/hosting play dates with nursery friends (assuming dads attend)
• Sports/activities - lots of dads at swimming and rugby we take DS1 to.

I think there are some dad YouTubers who talk about being dads - might alleviate some of the loneliness.

At my local sports centre there are several not-too-serious clubs which welcome all standards and have a strong social element. Things like table tennis and badminton - would those appeal? He could look on the sports centre website.

Also some baby and toddler groups are specifically for dads. Has he tried looking for local groups?

Have you looked on FB or similar for Dads meet-up groups and events? There's usually something going on even if it's monthly.

If there's not he could be brave and start his own...

So nice to hear something here about a decent dad wanting to embrace his new role! He sounds the perfect person to set up a father and child group. Twice a month on a Saturday morning or something.

Have a look for Who Let The Dad's Out, maybe there is one near you but you haven't seen it. It's a Dad's/Grandads playgroup, run by volunteers, often church groups but it isn't religious and is a national thing.

DD and I love it (and they have bacon sandwiches)

Obvious suggestion - do any of the new friends you've met through the mums group have husbands or boyfriends?
Arrange a mums day out and get all of the dads together with the babies, that'll instantly give them something to chat about in case there is any awkwardness over meeting new people. Then the dads can have a night out next.