App dating is like a game of roulette.
I’m not a gambler in any way but dating is about chance, luck and a bit of false hope.
It’s also a bit like walking into a bar in the days when we met in bars, back when one person might catch your eye if you were lucky. Nowadays you have the whole bar at your disposal, or so it seems.
Add these two together and assume a position as a number on the roulette table, and luck of the draw (aka the ball)
will bounce around the wheel while punters (potential dates) place their chips onto numbers.
Some numbers are more popular than others for reasons of choice and other madness (numbers game), but once the ball lands, most of the chips are taken away apart from those around where the ball landed.
So not only do we have a system based on chance, luck, personal choice and sheer determination we also have algorithms and completely random chances.
I’m a bit taken aback by all all of the negativity and bitterness toward men on here. I’m lucky to be bisexual and have my profile completely open to men and women.
Both sexes are equally as predatory as the other. Some use tactics that I’m not keen on, others use manipulation while others come across as desperate.
Both sexes.
I’ve seen aggressive behaviour from both, rudeness and just horrid behaviour.
But like a bar in the 90’s you could face all of the above there too - just not as amplified.
And amplification is (like most issues online) part of the problem.
What I have personally found to be more successful is having a very polite and pointed summary, decent pics without filters and just saying what you’re on there for.
I’ve also found that narrowing my preferences and location settings to be very precise also is better. Then I let them come to me. Swiping is futile in my experience so I bought a boost and let them come to me based on my preferences.
Of course you still get undesirables but that is the nature of dating or the last song in a club when all of the leftovers appear and try to grab anything. We’ve all seen it/experienced it. But in the stone cold sober world of app dating we don’t tolerate the desperate or the chancers we call it “creepy” but it’s nothing new. App dating just amplifies what was already there.
So as that ball flies around the wheel and the chips plonk themselves onto you, one of them might be from a decent potential but like dating in a bar, you have to take a chance based on very limited information (looks, demeanour). And then they open their mouths and say something and then even more information comes your way.
But it is better to bite the bullet and go for a drink as many (both sexes) can get into innuendo and banter (we’re animals, it happens).
What I have found is that if I take it too seriously, it bites.
If I see it for what it is and play it as a game of pure luck and I know the odds are very low. When one comes along that doesn’t tick every box - I’m giving it a go rather than having a negative reaction to it.