Please help me with this house selling dilemma

[MissHoneysHappyEnding]

As you might know from my other thread, I am one week + out of my 20 yr relationship with my children's dad.
Before all this; we were moving, had accepted an offer, found somewhere, had the survey completed. I knew it was a complete mistake but kept hoping that he would change, before realising that the thought of him moving into the new house filled me with dread. It was so different to what I felt when we first bought this house.

So I rang the mortgage provider of our current mortgage and asked if I could be the only person on the mortgage. They obviously looked out of kindness but they couldn't approve it due to risk and affordability. I might be ok for affordability once I pay off my credit card and when I get my next pay increment in May.
Our current house is of non standard construction and I'm really scared to lose our buyers as they don't very often sell especially not anywhere near market value for our area.

My options are:
Sell and buy somewhere outright using my part of the equity. This will mean my children moving school which I really really wanted to avoid.
Sell and hang onto the funds and try to buy something at auction.
Don't sell now and stay in the home until remortgage time (august), paying the mortgage myself. My worry is that in l starting a course to retrain in July/August and so my earnings will be drastically reduced. Although much improved in the long run!
Sell and try to still buy a three bed in the area. Ask exp if he will stay on the mortgage, although I will pay it.
Unless there's another option?

Can't you start the remortgage process now? I think it's six months before the end of your current deal.

How does the price of what you are selling compare to anything else in the area you want to stay?

It might not be ethical but could you be assessed on your current wages and not mention becoming a student? Given the mortgage is so low you must be low risk in terms of the bank seeing its money back worst case. Easier with your current provider.

A 10% increase in equity to pay for wouldn't be a huge amount. They'd probably lend you that for home improvements.

Keep the children in current school so that they have that stability and familiarity.

In your position, I would buy whatever you can afford outright now in the current area, even if that is a 2 bed - if your income is going to drop after the summer when you become a student, you’ll be grateful not to have a mortgage hanging over your head more than you will having more space in your home (I would think).

Then I’d review once the children are in secondary school in a few years, and your earnings are higher. Teenage children are totally different beasts to primary school aged in terms of needs/environment and would more than likely want to be in town with shops/friends etc.

This. You will really really appreciate not having to pay a mortgage when your income drops. You will have spare money to spend on the family and maybe save some of it here and there. Kids are adaptable, once you're earning decent money you can move again.

I think your only options, if you can't afford to stay when the mortgage expires are

1. Sell and move to a cheaper area
2. Sell and spend all your savings on rent

Or

1. Can you get money from family eg a loan from your parents to bring the amount of mortgage you need down (I realise not everyone has this option)
2. Stay living with your ex as housemates for a while (again a left field suggestion)

Trouble is, I really can't afford anything in our area. As in, anything! Obviously a one bed studio but nothing that would give me any quality of life. If I run my budget and that's even with a 20k family loan, there's nothing even though remotely commutable to my kids school. Plus my course, come the summer, is in the opposite direction!

Can you defer your course?

I don’t think you can keep all the current pieces, OP.

It looks like then your options are selling and moving anywhere you can afford, or not doing your course and going on your existing mortgage by yourself. I can’t see any other option really, no one is going to give you a big mortgage on a student income.

So, to recap

You can’t afford to stay in your current 3-bed, even though the mortgage is small.

You cannot afford to buy anywhere in your current area at all.

You do not want to rent because of the pets.

You are commuting in a different direction to do your course in 6 months’ time (how will the logistics of the DC and care after school etc work?)

What are you training in? Might that open up shared ownership or affordable housing schemes for you in your current area?

At present your only option is to move to another area entirely. It’s sad, but if that’s what you have to do that’s it.

What options will your DP have - will he also need to move away? Will you make sure you are living near to each other and how will DC arrangements work? What’s he thinking?

I'd put the retraining on hold for now. Focus on paying off the credit card asap and then remortgage once you have moved up to the next pay band. You could agree to pay your ex the 10% equity at that point - it is only 6 months. If you are still unable to get a solo mortgage at that time you can look at selling and buying outright in the summer.

This

As PPs have said, it seems clear that something has to give for now and it’s probably, for now, you being a student but your best place to judge the correct priorities. I think it would be helpful to list out your priorities - literally in order of urgency/importance - and go from there.

From the outside, it sounds like selling your current house and buying locally will be best overall meaning that you may need to defer your course. At 6 and 8, children are very adaptable but most teens (unless born and raised rural from the outset) are going to appreciate easy access to a town and it’s diversions and won’t want to rely on lifts from you the whole time.

But I’m guessing (and urban myself so not best places to judge) - only you know.

Good luck, OP.

Make sure you speak to a free mortgage broker before you make any decisions

You have a period of time before this happens to buy.