I freeze emotionally when faced with trauma . Mine and others

[justcant]

I go into practical mode .
I will be the one who organises everything practical , I will
Set up services , initiate the logistics , support others but when it comes to Myself, I absolutely shut down.
My child has been put through what no mother should have to support their child through.
I am numb.
I feel nothing towArds as him although I should feel rage, disgust and anger .
I should feel like actually murdering him. I feel nothing.
I feel for my child. I feel like I want to mind , protect and wrap her in cotton wool. I'm doing that and it's driving her nuts.
She can't handle my over protectiveness and care .
What the fuck is wrong with me ?

Freeze is a trauma response - when your nervous system is so overwhelemed that you go into shut down. Like a deer caught in the headlights. You can warm up and come back into regulation. Look up:

instagram.com/sarahbcoaching?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

instagram.com/irenelyon?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

instagram.com/nicolesachslcsw?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm

Btw there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you. Your body is doing a beautiful job of protecting you from feeling emotional pain.

There’s nothing wrong with you.
Most people talk of flight or fight but there’s a third —- freeze.
I have done similar to you —- when one of my adult dc was suddenly ill ( life threatening) I went into practical mode.
Do you want to say what the problem is you have to deal with atm?

My daughter was raped. She is 18 and has decided to brush it under the carpet

It is normal

i react like this too, it means I am a very cool head during an emergency

for me, it does tend to come out later though, sometimes it’s weeks before I can cry or feel anger . How is that for you?

Refuses point blank to involve police and medical
Intervention

It manifests for me by dealing with the issues in hand and then crumbling months later . ITs been a habit . I need it to stop .

You say you feel nothing towards the predator who hurt your daughter BUT you feel hugely protective towards your daughter - I would say that's pretty healthy right now. You're focusing on supporting your poor DD, and anger/rage and hatred would distract you from that.

Be kind to yourself
I think you're doing amazingly well in the shittest of circumstances. Beating yourself up for your reaction isn't kind to yourself.