Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Feeling uneasy about my younger sisters' success..

30 replies

redrovers · 27/02/2023 17:17

..tell me I'm an awful jealous person, because I am, but as hard as I try I can't help but feel envy towards my younger sister.
She's 2 years younger than me, and done everything first, house, marriage, baby. Luckily this has always pushed me on to do the same but I'm feeling it extra bad now she's having a second baby, the same gender as my 1st.
They'll be a year apart and I'm already feeling uneasy.

I know I need to grow up, I know I need to be happy for her, but it doesn't help she also has more money and the comparison is so easy to make, when she's the most similar person to me in the world!

Does anyone else deal with this and have tips to let it pass me by?

OP posts:

Name99 · 27/02/2023 19:57

Have you posted about this before OP?

SleepyRooster · 27/02/2023 20:04

Does she do anything else? Interesting hobbies, job, problem hectare? Or just the trad stuff you do with a bloke?

Not much to envy here

misschem · 27/02/2023 20:10

I'm your younger sister.

I got married first, own a house, and have two children. I'm 26.

My sister is 30 and is still living at home. But she is very well off. Has a fantastic career. We are constantly compared by other family members. She feels shit that she isn't married and I feel shit because of how tough I've had it.

I have suffered (and still suffering) with postnatal depression, had two emergency c sections, my second baby suffered a stroke during or after labour and I've been through hell.

Just because someone looks like they're doing better than you, doesn't mean they aren't going through their own shit. Be happy for her and for yourself for what you have.

ittakes2 · 27/02/2023 20:26

Live is not a competition...what do you mean she spurred you on to get things done - house, marriage, baby... did you not do these things because you wanted to at the time? You need to give your head a wobble....what is it you want from life because at the moment your goal seems to be to follow in your sister's footsteps!

Snugglemonkey · 27/02/2023 20:58

Comparison is the thief of joy. Her wealth/happiness/successes are entirely separate from yours. They do not detract from yours. There are plenty to go around. Life is not a zero sum game.

Flip

1 2