Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Strange behaviour from male friend.

5 replies

Ohmywordsomepeople · 27/02/2023 16:05

I have a male friend going way back.. we can go for months without speaking.

This past year has been a bit strange. We separated from our partners at similar times and confided in one another. I guess we confided in one another as were both going through similar experiences.

He's dived into relationships one after the other and is now in an on/off volatile relationship since the summer.
I haven't met her but grew uncomfortable with the level of detail (over email)and knowing too much, nor did I like him slagging her off but continuing to see her. Classic says one thing, does another.

He lives away and first, real oddness came before Christmas. I was visiting other friends in his country who live about 3 hours away. He asked me to visit him during my pre- arranged trip to see friends he doesn't know and sulked and was strange when I said no. I'm not there long enough and besides it's rude behaviour to my friends to disappear when I've travelled to see them.

He made no offer to come to us, they asked him for lunch he refused. I had to go to him or nothing.

Didn't speak until about a month ago when an email arrived. Cheery in tone and no mention of his behaviour.

He's back with on/off girlfriend. How's my new house he asked and have I moved back up north yet?

(I've bought somewhere new not far from where we both grew up. )

Meanwhile, I've begun seeing a man. I haven't mentioned him to anyone other then really close friends as we've only recently become more solid, we are six months in now. Its gentle, relaxed and with potential. Finally. I'm happy.

I replied to my friend, wished him well, told him I'm dating and feel it has real potential. That I'm beginning to fall for my new man and that I'm happy.

His response was to block me on WhatsApp. Which we don't really use to communicate and send a brief email reply saying people who say they're happy rarely are. Oh and good luck to my new BF as I'll drive him mad with my flakiness (I'm not flakey, presume this refers to not visiting him)

Wtf. My new BF thinks he has feelings. My friend has never indicated this, been flirty or anything at all, which is why I find it unsettling. Indeed, he has often said he only thinks of me purely platonically and how nice it is not to have that fancying someone pressure...

He's a strange guy but he can be very kind. He struggles I think to keep friends.. not many from our original group keep in touch with him and he lost many acquaintances when his wife left.

Baffling.

OP posts:
ItsaMetalBand · 27/02/2023 16:30

He struggles I think to keep friends.. not many from our original group keep in touch with him and he lost many acquaintances when his wife left.

Baffling.

No, not baffling. He's just a nasty two-faced dick.

Dump him, he's no friend. I had a friend who blanked me the moment I started dating DH. Turns out she had a crush on him, despite planning her own wedding. Anyway, we've not spoken since. And I haven't missed her a bit - a friend who couldn't be happy for me is no friend I want in my life.

Ohmywordsomepeople · 27/02/2023 18:16

Thanks, yes very two-faced.
Shocking re your friend.

OP posts:
DeeCeeCherry · 27/02/2023 18:27

He's a toxic friend, all over you when he needs a comforting listening ear, gone again when he doesnt, and enraged now he thinks someone else will have your ear and time. His unkind, two-faced disloyalty in slagging off his girlfriend to you behind her back whilst no doubt still being cosy with her, should've shown you he is a dickhead. Theres nothing 'kind' about him and I doubt he has feelings for you beyond convenience. He insulted then blocked you. Some 'friend'. People like that arent even worth analysing. Just move on. After all, it appears he now has anyway

PretendingToBeStupid · 27/02/2023 18:37

Yeah, he fancied you for years and is annoyed he didn't get a chance when you were both single. Ignore the idiot.

Ohmywordsomepeople · 27/02/2023 19:42

No. I think hes bitter and twisted. Whatever he's a dick and no friend.

Pretty sure he was building up yo asking to rent my house too.. strange how he jelt asking about it, looking back.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page