Second wife’s or partners advise needed

[Mum23amazingkids]

Me and my partner have been together for 3 years , we share a 1 year old and we each have 2 kids from a previous relationship , we are both in our very early 40s .
Our relationship is good no issues but there is one niggle I find a bit hard to deal with and I’m unsure if it’s me being unreasonable.
I do not see his family in person often , they live abroad . Some have visited and stayed with us when my youngest was 6 months but as I don’t see them often and I feel as an outsider .
It doesn’t help that although he has been divorced 7 years , separated over 8 years they still get along with his ex very well and spend weekends together so in my mind there is no room for me .
We get along very well with his ex and her partner , they share kids ( they are 16 and 22 so not little ) and the kids visit and get on really well with us too and are part of the family
I have until now accepted this as the norm for my situation but he wants us to get married and although I would love to , this really makes me feel insecure .
The more insecure I feel the less I want to spend time with his family too .
Is this feeling left out a common dynamic for second wife’s or partners ?

if You get on with is ex and her partner and the kids then you are doing everything right. They have known her a lot longer so are bound to have a greater connection. This isn’t taking anything away from you - marry him and be proud - you have given them a lovely grandchild and you are entitled to your place in the family. My advice is keep being nice, send pics and FaceTime them often and be who you are xx

Ps I am a second wife ( but to a widower) but have had other issues and insecurities! My advice embrace his family fully - its worth it x

It sounds like the reason is the distance. If you have only met them a handful of times your not going to be as close. They have also had many years building a relationship with ex before you met. I can see why you feel how you do but I think you need to try not to compare and enjoy your relationship for what it is. Also very positive that you all get along

I think it's you tbh, and I don't mean that unkindly. You need to work on your self-esteem and self-confidence because I can't see that anyone has done anything wrong here, or behaved in a way to make you feel pushed out.

Thank you all it helps to see your opinions as it gives me perspective .