What to actually do

[warmmfeet]

Ok so without sounding too dramatic, I'm confused about my wider family dynamics.
I am 40 years old with two kids. My two brothers are much older than me and were in their late teens when I was born. They have grown up children, I have very young children.

I feel like I've always been the butt of jokes and so much teasing. My eldest brother, wife and children particularly have long standing, running jokes about me, things I've said etc. even one of my nephews created a fake social media account based on me, just to take the piss.

I'm very different to the rest of my family, I'm not as articulate, intelligent or successful. I work in health care, they all work in different sectors and earn a lot more money.

I have a weird on/off relationship with my mum, who suffers with bouts of depression. But I know she loves my kids.

Basically I just find family stuff so awkward and uncomfortable and I don't know what I should do about or how I should conduct myself.
I don't want to cut ties but also I find after family get togethers I always feel a bit shit.

Anyone got any advice? And yes I know I'm very lucky to have a family and also that no one has abused me.
And also yes, I am a sensitive person.

All families have weird dynamics I think try and be assertive, speak up for yourself when you don't like something otherwise things will continue as per status quo.

No, this isn’t ok and it’s not just weird family dynamics.

They set up a fake social media page to take the piss out of you? I’d be going through the roof.

Do you really need them in your life?

Im sorry but your eldest brother and his family sound like a load of abusive bullying knobs who think they are better than you but are getting away with it as making out they are joking, but if you say anything to stand up for yourself you are being sensitive?
you need to tell them how you feel and if they carry on go no contact with them, its not doing your mental health any good. hate families like this who pick on one person as the butt of all their jokes. nasty people

@bloodyeffinnora has nailed it. You are being abused. This sounds nasty.

That's not just "banter", it's bullying.

I'd reduce your contact with your brothers and their families, and consider what you want and need from your relationship with your mum.

You shouldn't come away from seeing family feeling shit. Lots of families are dysfunctional or have poor dynamics, but where that is the case, you need to have good boundaries and there's no need to tolerate being the butt of "jokes" at your expense all the time.

I'd concentrate more on friends and your own family unit.

Well, if some of them make you feel bad, they are not your friends. I hope there are some who make you feel good about yourself.

As an adult, you get to decide what kind of people are allowed to be in your life. If you wouldn't want your kid to be pranked, then you also get to stand up for yourself.

They don't have to like you. You don't need their approval. You need and deserve respect. When you stand up for yourself, people may not initially like it but they will respect you even more.

It's great your mum lives your kids.

However, you don't have to take on her depression. Even if you could fix it, magic wand and all, she would still need to learn some coping skills herself.

You are more able to help her if you have inner peace rather than taking on her depression.

Your choices are :
Carry on and do nothing
Stand up for yourself
Go low contact
Go no contact

Loves, not lives*

OP, do you feel this way about other people in your life, like friends and colleagues? Or is it just your family?

@Haffiana no I generally have good relationships with others and have some good friends from childhood and uni years. I usually get on well with colleagues too and I don't feel like I am bullied or picked on at work.

@bloodyeffinnora thanks. I needed to hear this

@@category12 concentrating on friends and my own family unit sounds good.

I think I'll go low contact and consider my boundaries